Exams coming up, refusing to revise

My son is 16 and has really struggled this year. Today he walked out of a gcse exam and refuses to go back. I despair and don’t know what to say or fo

My son really struggled throughout year 11. First week of exams went well last week but today he walked out and refused to sit his English and geography exams saying they were too long. He said he can’t face sitting anymore. I really don’t know what to say or do 

There's some guidance information to download on the NAS website regarding exams and revision (www.autism.org.uk/.../exam.aspx) and a tip about exam (www.autism.org.uk/.../exam-tactics.aspx).  

Hope these help.

hi, you don't say if you have spoken with yr son's school senco? Do they have a counselling service? Do you have a autism support service locally as they should be able to help, have you rang the CAMHS duty line and asked them for help or your GP for a home visit, as you will need to get documented to appeal to examing boards etc

My son is about to take his GCSE's and the night before the first English speaking one he had a meltdown and has now not been to school for three days. He just says, "Go away" and will not talk and flinches from any touch (touch has not been a problem before). I just don't know how to help him. 

Have you spoken to school and had a meeting with the SENCO? Do you have a statement or EHCP? Have you spoken to individual subject teachers? Does the school have a revision programme etc? Do you know which subjects they are best at and likely grades being expected?

Recommend you write to school by sending an email to the Headteacher expressing your concerns and asking them what they are going to do to help your child? Request a meeting and go from there to get a plan.

We did all this and our son did his GCSEs last year, was also very difficult to get him to focus and concentrate on revision. However his learning style is not atypical. Organisation does not come easily to him.Took us a while to work our his system and agree with him what his revision style was. Also important when he had his exams that he could relax and de-stress after each exam, his was playing piano, going to the gym and watching documentaries and playing rugby ( real rugby not a video game). We had more meltdowns and anxiety attacks during the exams and the run up, but as that was expected we were prepared to deal with it.

He ended up with an A*, 6 A's, 2B's and 2C's.

Hi, I did my A-levels years ago, so don't  know the cost now. There are some exam fees listed here:

www.aqa.org.uk/.../entry-fees
qualifications.pearson.com/.../private-candidates.html

and further info
www.bbc.co.uk/.../education-18883541 

Suggest contacting local colleges and asking what their fees are, as tuition would be in addition to the cost of the exam itself. Good luck!

Your son sounds very much like I was as his age (or even now in my forties!)

Possibly the most important thing you can do is to emphasise that you will love him just as much however his exam results turn out.  My Dad and teachers particularly had always hoped for me to be the first in the family to go to University, and that added a great deal to my anxiety, even though the intention was well meaning.  So make sure it's clear to him that your love, help and guidance is unconditional.

A more practical thing that may help is to sit down with him and try to structure his revision. One of the problems with the school exam system is that exams in many different subjects are all crammed together in a short space of time.  People with Asperger's often struggle with multi-tasking and planning.  We can't see the wood for the trees, so tend to procrastinate - putting things off until the last minute because we can't find an obvious "starting point" to begin from (or, we find too many starting points and can't decide which one). 

Planning some kind of "revision timetable" with him may help him to get a clearer picture of how much he has to do, and when.  Once a plan has been finalised and pinned up somewhere, that is a big source of anxiety pushed aside, as the 'planning' stage of the task no longer overlaps with the 'doing' stage - and that is one of the hardest kinds of multi-tasking for many of us on the spectrum.

Thanks so much stateofindependence.  That is really worth thinking about.

Can I ask what was the cost for re-taking your A-levels?  Just so we're prepared.

He is such a clever kid it would be a real shame if he ended up with no qualifications.

Agree about the rewards, wish my parents had done that rather than just nagging!

Unfortunately the more the importance of the exams is emphasised, the more stressful it all becomes, and the less able you are to concentrate. So probably the only way to reduce exam stress is for the outcome of the exam to matter less.

I would keep reassuring him that exams can be retaken at any time, and have a Plan B and Plan C lined up, eg a part time voluntary job, some workshops for a hobby he enjoys, or some evening classes. 

I flunked my A-levels but retook them as a mature student and it was far easier!

Thanks Kernow for the tip.

He does respond well to rewards so will definitely give this a go .

I too have a son of similar age, so I can understand what you are going through! Have 

you tried using a reward system.  My son responds well to being able to earn money for a certain amount of revision so that he can then buy something that he would like. We usually draw up a chart of an agreed amount of revision which we break down into half hour sessions, he then ticks them off as he completes them.

I have to admit this does not always work but at times it is helpful.

Good luck! :)