I have 2 autistic children now aged 7 and 14 and as they have grown older I thought I could manage but are finding life extremely hard which in affect has put a massive strain on my relationship with my wife!!!!!!!! the bottom line is I act like I can cope but CANT!!!! I struggle and doubt myself as a parent as I get nervous when around the children and then shut off most probably looking like I don't care!!! is there any advice, courses or anything that I can use to help me on dealing with parenting as I should have admitted years ago that I need advice and help!!!!
I clicked on your message and I didn't want to just read and leave so I'm not sure how much use I can be. I'm sorry to read you are struggling with parenting your autistic children. Parenting is the toughest job to do even before you add a disability into the mix! I don't know if there are any parenting courses specific to autism as such (others caring for autistic children may be able to give you better information on that). Connecting with other parents with similar situations as you may offer you the help and support you need. You say your relationship with your wife is becoming strained. Have you been honest with your wife about how you are feeling? It can be easy to forget that as a couple you are a team and it's ok to lean on each other for support. She may even feel she is struggling also. When we are stressed in a situation tension can form and couples can become short with each other maybe even saying hurtful things that we don't necessarily mean.
Have you also thought about the possibility that you may need to take some time to take care of your own needs and do some self care? When our cup is empty we have nothing left to give so to speak and we become worn down quicker and stressed more easily. It can be hard as a parent to find time to care for ourselves and take time out to do something for us, but it is very important that we make that time.
I hope something I have said here will be of some use to you and maybe others can post with more specific advice for autistic children.
thank you appreciate the feedback and to be honest that is exactly what has happened I haven't been honest about how much I have been struggling and now we are separated!!! but you are right in what you are saying as we never found time for each other and get improvements are needed but if I had looked for help with parenting issues before would have helped.
and yes groups, advice or anything in regards to the struggles of parenting two autistic children when I doubt my own abilities as a parent would be good!!!!
hard to admit this to myself nevermind anyone else including the wife!!!
thanks again for your comments as they make a lot of sense
You mentioned in one of your replies being interested in support groups - the NAS has a directory of different support groups across the country that you can see here - http://www.autism.org.uk/directory/browse/cid=58~aid=1.aspx - hopefully there are some nearby in your area.
The NAS also runs its own family support services in some areas. If you want to know more please call the helpline on 0808 800 4104, or have a look at the NAS services link here - http://www.autism.org.uk/directory/browse/cid=326
Hope this is of some help,
Ross - mod
Yes I certainly are interested in groups, advice and help so thank you I appreciate the information will definitely contact some of these for advice and help.
have your children got allocated social workers? I’m just wondering what area you are based in? Sometimes a parent/career group can be really beneficial. It’s basically other parents that are experiencing the same situations as yourself. Your children should be eligible for a social worker or try asking the school to refer them to social services and hopefully you can get some much needed help. They can help by providing short term respite, looking at specialised provisions,