Published on 12, July, 2020
I live in a block of flats and I and most of the rest of my neighbours are having problems with one of my other neighbours.
I may be biased, and I am certainly not an expert, but, talking to one of my other neighbours and reflecting on things afterwards, I suspect the neighbour we are having problems with is also (undiagnosed) HFA.
One of the problems is that, although we are having problems with him, he is apparently convinced that he does not have any problems and we are the ones with problems.
Any suggestions on what to do? (I don't want to go into detail about the problems we are having because he is not here to defend himself.)
Ideally I would like to persuade him to seek a diagnosis but I don't see how to do it if he does not think he has any problems.
The only other possibility I can see is that eventually he does something which leads to him being involved with the criminal justice system and perhaps the criminal justice system can force him to be diagnosed although even then I don't see how you can diagnose someone without their willing participation.
Taltunes said:One of the problems is that, although we are having problems with him, he is apparently convinced that he does not have any problems and we are the ones with problems.
That is one of the great problems with a sector of the community. Blame is shifted onto the other person.
This is true in regards to accidents ('you should have been more careful of what you were doing' or 'you should not have braked so hard' in the case of car accidents), to having crime committed against you ('you shouldn't have left your purse on view' or 'you should have had a burglar alarm installed' or 'you should have put your car keys in a drawer not put them on the hook' and 'you should not have been walking there after dark on your own').
I am sure you have good reasons for believing he is autistic, but it could be other problems too. Unless his problems could be dealt with by social services or the local authority who may be able to find the support he wants (and I would imagine that they would not look to the cause of the problem, just look to the effect in any case so they would have to be told of what you suspect) there is not a lot you can do apart from the police (which you may not feel appropriate considering your thoughts on what is causing his behaviour) or personal confrontation (which does not appear as if it would go down with him very well at all considering his previous reactions). Being autistic is not in itself a problem the authorities want to get involved with unless the person has great difficulties in looking after themselves or unless as you hint, he is acting in an antisocial way. It would be very unlikely they would seek a diagnosis for him, although I also don't think he would be asked to provide a diagnostic report if he self-declared himself as autistic.
Should the authorities get involved though you could then express your thoughts so that the appropriate help could, though unlikely, if necessary, be offered to him. I don't know if a case against him would ask for psychiatric reports which could, as a possibility, find some autistic tendencies if they were looking for them..
Thanks.
I agree it could be other problems too.
The police have already been involved 4 or 5 times in the past and they will probably be involved again in the future as they appear to be one of the few people he will listen to. I will not hesitate to involve the police if I feel it is necessary although I will tell them what I think the problem could be if I do so.
He appears to have anger management issues (and yes, these could be down to other things than autism) so personal confrontation is best avoided unless necessary. It is difficult anyway because he won't open his door.