I had a doctors appointment this morning. I’ve been needing to see my doctor for weeks and so I made the effort to walk all the way there despite the heavy snowfall. However, upon arrival I saw that there were people digging around cars in the car park, bollards across the road and GPs still trying to make their way in.
This was far too much for my anxiety levels as I find seeing the doctor hard enough as is - I will only see one trusted GP, and even then if I have to speak to someone to book in or there are any unexpected changes I’m doomed... - and so I walked straight past and all the way home, missing my appointment and no doubt gaining a ‘did not attend’ on my notes. Joy. I really hate myself when I find the simplest of things in life so hard, and I end up looking like an impolite person because of it. Anyone else have similar problems?
I don't think you failed at life. You did something that many people would do without giving it a second thought. So much money gets lost, and so many people miss seeing a doctor, because someone decides not to go to their appointment - not for genuine reasons, such as you express, but because they either forget, or decide not to bother and don't ring up to cancel.
Why not ring the surgery and explain the situation? I'm sure they'll understand. Or email them if you don't want to speak to anyone. Would that make you feel better about it?
I know it's horrible, finding the simplest things hard. I've often envied the ease with which other people can seem to sail through life, getting things right. It used to make me feel really bad about myself. I realise now, though, that there are reasons why I struggle in certain circumstances; why I get hugely stressed about something when other people take it in their stride. In some ways, that self-acknowledgement has helped to give me confidence. It takes time and effort to achieve that, and I'm still not all the way there. But it does seem to get a little easier as the years pass.
Take it easy. And give yourself a pat on the back for at least having a conscience about these things. Many people couldn't care less.
I suppose you are right - most people wouldn’t care, and I didn’t do it deliberately...but I have a conscience. I just wish I had a simple way of explaining, or that the doctors surgery would understand, but when I tried to explain once in the past (in person) I could see it on the receptionist’s face that she didn’t believe that I had tried to attend, which left me all the more hurt.
I would have called, but I find telephone communication very difficult at the best of times and I am in a bit of a state right now to be honest. Besides, by the time I had walked home it was already past my appointment time. I wish I had the option of email as that would be ideal, but unfortunately we don’t. I’ll just have to hope that they thought I couldn’t get there because of the weather or some other fair reason.
I’m trying to have some breakfast (something I don’t normally do) and settle myself down because I’ve got worse to come today - I have to see my solicitors regarding my Employment Tribunal case this afternoon. That might just tip me over the edge...
Good luck with that. I've been through them myself, and it wasn't really as bad as I'd worked myself up for it to be. Explain how you're feeling today to your solicitor. Again, I'm sure they'll understand. It's a stressful thing.
How about just dropping a note in at the surgery? The thing is, the weather is probably preventing a lot of people from getting to appointments. Also, in this weather, GPs get inundated with calls - so a bit of free space in the day might actually be something they want!
Oh, my Employment Tribunal case is a shambles - I agreed a settlement part way through the original hearing (I didn’t want to, but my Mum wasn’t well and was a witness, and I didn’t want to put her life in danger given her medical conditions and the stress of being cross-examined), but my employer didn’t comply with the agreement. So here we are, over a year after I settled and I’m trying to get my claims reinstated. It’s a long shot, and we’ve had to have interim hearings regarding jurisdiction and the like, but breach of contract is no good because I wouldn’t get specific performance as a remedy.
I’ve spent more money than I’ll ever get back, and I’m being threatened with my employer’s costs as well, but this isn’t about money for me (though I’d rather not be bankrupted by the case). This is about right and wrong and making sure they are punished for what they did so hopefully they’ll never do it someone else again.
Good idea regarding the note - I might just try that.
Good luck. And you did the right thing by your mother, too.