Published on 12, July, 2020
"That's not autism. Everyone gets anxious in social situations."
"You can't have Asperger's. You work in care."
"What's your special talent?"
"But you don't look autistic."
"Autistic people have no imagination, but you're highly imaginative."
"I'm only joking! Don't take everything so seriously."
"But you have a sense of humour."
"You do keep going on about it."
"Why are you doing it that way?"
"But you seem friendly enough."
"I haven't finished speaking yet."
"Hello? Is anybody there? Are you listening to me?"
"I shouldn't keep having to explain this to you."
Quite!
Somebody told me the analogy with colorblind people. In the second world war, these people were liked a lot, because they were able to tell you there was a camouflaged tank over there in the woods. They noticed something 'odd' where normal people would not. I'm not sure if the story is true or not (fac(k)ebook news)... but having autism feels a bit like being colorblind in this respect.
On the other hand... in the land of the blind, one-eye is the annoying guy who tells you about rainbows and other nonsense... many colorblind soldiers probably failed to warn their comrades...
Well said, MDC. Never felt the need to do what advertising tells me I should do. Always finding faults in the system that others tell me is right. Black or white on opinions - but very hot on subjects that mean a lot to me.
I'm 1m95. People get a scare when I'm behind them where they didn't expect me.
I decided NT people should be treated with due care. They have a mental set of shades that allows them to see the world in a way that protects their brains. And for sure they're not all nice people who happen to be just a bit flustered with your odd behavior. So I would prefer not to bring it up. Also not to friendly co-workers.
Your superpower could be one of these:
- you don't feel the need to get a brand of coffee because some Cloony actor tells you to.
- you see bugs in computerprograms because you read what's there, not what should be
- you can either not have an opinion, or a very well informed one
I'd forgotten that one. Had a variation at work just the other week. 'For goodness sake, cheer up! Stop looking so serious. '
I know, I really really despise it. It’s so ignorant. I can smile and know how to. But sometimes I just don’t express that I’m happy in the same way.
I hate the smile thing. Things have happened and I can't cope and complete strangers with ignorance of my situation tell me to smile
1. “You can’t have Aspergers, you are making eye contact”.
2. “You are doing very well despite having Aspergers”.
3. “Smile, it might never happen”
I've heard all of those listed. To be honest, I largely ignore them.
I suppose hearing the same ignorant responses we become better equipped at responding to them over time. I'm sure we will all get plenty of practice!
It's ok, I am trying my best to walk round the hoops rather than jump through them. :-)
2 comments I still remember, made by total strangers, observing my son lining up pine cones in the park and making grunting noises to himself:
(Sarcastically) "You must be so proud."
(On being told that he was autistic) "How did you manage that?
I've only had two so far and they were said about me not to me.....
4 does have some basis in reality; research has found people with more severe autism have measurably different facial features:
www.cbsnews.com/.../
And did you respond to that? It is ok not wanting to or not being able to jump through someone else’s hoops x
I haven't even had my diagnosis for a year yet and I have heard a lot of the above.
I think my responses are going to become a little less friendly in future situations. Something along the lines of "You seems to be an expert in knowing and understanding everything about everyone, yet you don't come across as caring or wanting to know for the right reasons, you don't seem to offer any advice other than criticism, you seem to not listen to anything I say that will help us communicate better and you keep projecting a rather prejudice attitude. Honestly, I don't know how you managed to come across as being so interested in me, yet so dismissive all at the same time!"
There's my Sunday rant for the day. :-)
X
so pleased it helps.. she would be too. Today I am grateful for being able to come home after a people day to pretty lights, my open fire and my guinea pig. ( maybe that’s 3 things in itself.. but I still feel awful leaving my dad on his own when he isn’t great at the moment.
and the advice stuck! x
Thank you for reminding me.. especially when everyone is tired at this time of year. It was mum who suggested it and it is good advice x
Oh suggestible and sectionable you....! i hope that you are ok.
It can be friggin tough out there! What helps get me through is here and something @Missfit61 once shared...which was to try and think of 3 positive things everyday that have happened.