I was diagnosed yesterday. Today I have been thinking about things that have happened to me or that I have done in the new knowledge of my diagnosis. It's very odd. I was surprised to be diagnosed. I asked if I was borderline but they looked horrified and said that I was 100%, no doubt classic autism.
I'd like to say hello to people on here. Hello.
piggy77 said: I am pretty excited to start living life in my own way rather than trying to fit in.
I am pretty excited to start living life in my own way rather than trying to fit in.
That really hit home you saying the above. I feel I am so used to doing what others expect of me that I never have much energy to do my own projects. I have spent all my life trying to avoid comments or avoid doing things the wrong way.
I was diagnosed this January and part of me was relieved that I have an excuse for feeling the way I do. But another part of me also feels it must be a mistake, that it is just very very mild, that I just need to pull myself together stop procrastinating and just get on with life. That it can't be that serious, it's just me being oversensitive and lazy.
The lady testing me, told me that people who mask it and who compensate the most often suffer more than people with people with ASD who don't try to fit in socially. So that "mild" autism does not mean the suffering is mild. It just means that that you can look after yourself.
My question would be: how do you start doing things your own way - and to hell with what people think?? All my social life seems to revolve around a) doing what people expect b) avoiding criticism c)being the clown people like to laugh at d) being excessively kind, trying to please and caring and probably unusual for autism: I'm good at listening, apparently have good empathy (but of a rational/mirrored kind) and people love telling me their problems (which leaves me exhausted emotionally, and sometimes depresses me).
I also feel it is me who gives all the time, but I don't get much back from others. I often feel lonely. If I say to hell with all trying to fit in, won't that leave me even more lonely???
Is it possible to rethink yourself at 43?