Knocked sideways


I just never expected this. As my bio alludes, life is, erm, interesting right now. Here's the short version:

My wife and I hadn't been getting on too well for a while. Everything seemed to go south when our son arrived some years back, then get steadily worse. Last December, my father died. It was expected, and a much-needed release for him. I was fine.

This year, I walked out of my job for a whole bunch of reasons, fully expecting to find something else after taking a few months off. My employer could not quite believe I was going to go through with it, and seemed to be quietly hoping I would change my mind. I have never really been out of employment before this.

Sorting through some of my Dad's old fishing tackle after the Summer made me realise I am not actually fine at all.

Suddenly, I have an AQ score of 36, have been referred by my GP, have found out within the last week that my adult son from my first marriage was diagnosed with Aspergers years ago, and tomorrow we're going to try to get our youngest checked out(!)

From my reading of the paperwork, I'm likely to get, "Congratulations, you have Aspergers! Goodbye", because I am in my forties.

Immediate questions (there will be others...):

  1. What resources might help out a forty-something laggard such as myself?
  2. Any tips for helping me save my second marriage?
  3. What can my wife and I do to support our youngest? How should we approach our son's school with this?

Oh, and my handle for these forums? It's a Chinese ICBM yielding about three to five megatons, which just happened to be what was on my mind whilst I was registering with the NAS...

  • I have to go through the diagnosis etc myself but I understand that you can get help at work, a plan for your needs to be met and there are things that protect/help you. 

    knowing all this now, if you feel you could be helped at work with your condition needs, could you speak with your past manager about returning to work and your needs being met?  but if that job/working there is completely out of the question for you then no worries, just trying to help. 

  • Thanks for the valid suggestion, , but I don't really want to go back. It is time for a change, and the type of job I have been doing for umpteen years is arguably a lousy fit for someone on the spectrum. The loss of my father last year really brought it home to me that the level of hassle just wasn't worth it - both in terms of its impact on my own health and that of my family relationships.

    Having reached something of a "dead-end", I am prepared for the possibility that I shall have to accept a pay cut in order to head in a different direction which better fits the second half of my life.

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