My son is being bullied

Hi 

My son is 9 and is being asset for autism my son has never had a lot of friend when he was younger and started nursey he had a speech problem which stoped being able to communicate with childern but it never seemed to bother him now as he's got older he's tried to make friends but he's always found it hard to make friends so he now has nobody to play with it has always broke my heart now he's in year 5 he gets teased and kids invited the whole class to party's and doesn't invited my baby boy.hes a lovely boy he's so kind so friendly he's not got a nasty bone in his body I don't understand how childern can be cruel it breaks my heart that my son does not have that one single friend he can talk to in school and if been into school and nothing seems to get done has anybody got any advice I don't want my son to ever feel lonely 

Kind regards 

A worried mummy

  • Hi NAS23975,

    I am sorry your son is having such a difficult time at school, you might want to have a look at the pages on the NAS website about bullying:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/about/in-education/bullying.aspx

    And also maybe encourage his teachers to have a look at the same info, particularly around the unstructured time at school - play/lunch times so they can understand his needs and support him better:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/about/in-education/difficulties-at-lunch-and-break-times.aspx 

    It can help to pass on information specifically for education professionals about autism spectrum disorders. The following link contains information written for education professionals:
    http://www.autism.org.uk/professionals/teachers.aspx

    There may be some other parents on the forum who can offer their own advice from their experience but if you need more guidance you can contact the Autism Helpline. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm), although please note that the Helpline is experiencing increasingly high demand, and you may not reach them straight away.

    Please see the following link for further information:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main.aspx

    I hope you find something here helpful but do post back if not and another moderator or community member will try to help.

    Kind regards,

    Heather - Mod

  • That is so sad, you poor thing.  Is your son upset by being left out?  He might prefer not going to parties and big social events like that anyway?  Try talking to the form teacher about the situation - I'm sure they will try and help him during the school day, and they could recommend a couple of nice boys/ girls - there will be plenty in that class - so you can organise some playdates?  Maybe playing football or going to a playground, so there are things to do?  Bear in mind it's the adult who organised the party who decided to leave out your kid which says far more about them than the child having the party. 

  • Hi there, maybe you can do something to help him being included outside of school? I did have friends in school at that age but not later really, and got bullied a lot, but one thing that made it bearable somehow was to know that I would see my friend in the afternoon, and at hindsight I'm actually grateful she didn't go to the same school as me (which would have been the more likely option really) because she may well also have been taught there that I'm not one to be friends with. The thing is, 9 or so is probably about the age when kids start to choose friends or simply who to play with not just based on who they like or don't but also whom the cool kids approve of. So being excluded doesn't necessarily mean that no other kid likes you, just that the cool ones have figured out that you aren't quite as cool. But outside school those things don't apply, it's much easier to have what would be seen as an unlikely friendship in school.

    Maybe you find something he really enjoys where he can meet other children outside school? If he's good at sports then that may be an obvious one, but if he isn't that's probably not the place to start with. But maybe some sort of regularly volunteering where kids can join (the local animal home for example or something of that sort), something non-competitive would probably make it easier, and where he can just be himself for the activity it is about, so he can be more relaxed than with things he constantly finds challenging.