Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter is 17 and has ADD and Aspergers. She goes to college and only has 1 actual friend from college that she sees now and again. She has a lot of friends she knows from school and college on social media but that's as close as she'll get. The trouble is, we live on an army camp and there aren't many children her age around and she's befriended a 14 year old girl. I don't have any issues with this young girl but we would prefer for my daughter to hang around children her own age. We understand this isn't as simple especially with autism. So we've been bit relaxed about it but unfortunately it's got out of hand. My daughter spends most of her time awake either communicating with this girl via internet or out hanging around with her. This isn't a healthy obsession and we've tried to talk to her and explain this and ask her to cut down the time she spends online with her. Nothing has worked and it just seems to be getting worse. Please can anyone give us some advice. Thank you.
Is part of your concern that your daughter's friend is below age of consent?
I would first of all be open with her about your concerns especially about consent. If she's anything like SD16, she is likely to be curious but accepting of rules around such matters.
Secondly, I think you need to touch base with the parents of the other girl and check how they feel about the relationship. If they are onboard with limiting communication it will be easier to do so, but they may also be relieved their daughter has a friend.
Thirdly, this is a time to get clear on no screens after bed time and at meals- AND THAT MEANS PARENTS TOO! ASD kids respond best to just treatment and a ban on screens that only affects them is not OK.
Last of all, is she part of a local support group for adolescents with ASD. If not it's time to get her engaging.