The Four Agreements

Two things I now have to write:

I did not see this Reply until I posted what I posted before and "Liked" the picture also.      :-(

Lastly... Um, now that I see it... Thank You for that Reply, Miss Nasally Enhanced (!)     :-) 

I've never really been one to live by agreements or anything else.  I don't follow any particular code.  None of these agreements seems to add up to much as I see them.  Who are they agreements with?  I try to keep my word with people, and I try hard not to lie unless it's absolutely necessary, if that's what it means by 'impeccable'.  I try not to take things personally, but sometimes I just can't help it, and especially is someone says something patronising or untrue to me or about me.  People so love to make judgments, and I take that personally.  But minor things I can pass off.  I also try not to make assumptions, and I take it personally when people make assumptions about me, and think I'm a low achiever or something because I do low paid work and don't have a profession.  I always try to do my best at what I do, but why would I want to do otherwise?  I can't deliberately do something badly because there would be no point.  I just won't do it.  I think I'd add one to the list.  Always maintain a healthy degree of cynicism.  I've always found it to help me in life, having spent so much of the early part of it being taken for a ride by people.  I've rarely found a person who wanted to know me for anything other than for something they can gain out of it.  I don't mean friendship.  Maybe I've just been unlucky, though.

I haven't read any inspiring books lately, but I'm about to start John Lydon's autobiography 'Anger is an Energy'.  Just the title says it for me.  I loved punk, and still do.  When he went on the BBC and swore, my world suddenly opened up.  Punk was something I could at last identify with.  Ok, Lydon sold out a long time ago.  But I agree with him.  Anger is definitely an energy.  Righteous anger, correctly focused and not deliberately damaging.  That's inspiring.  And there's so much to be angry about in this world today.

Disambiguating Cynosure said:

you are such a Renegade

...When I wrote that, it was the first to Post such a thing in this Thead... yet now one of the greater masters of Wit upon this Forum has also Posted... and that is that! Thank You, Miss Elephant, very very much.   :-)

You haven’t understood the meaning of always doing your best DC ~ your best might be lying on your back doing nothing although your perceived idea of what you ‘think’ your best should be, some high goal or standard you’ve set yourself, but that isn’t your best, that’s just your idea of what you believe your best should be. 

Greetings, Miss Bluey-Shiny Person... (!)

I prefer not to regret Replying in this way, yet...

As you further detail the 4 -5 Agreements, I only attempt detail regarding what I mean by "Illnesses". For example: I am in a situation or just doing something such as conversing. All of a sudden - Bam - I can no longer say another word, and must retreat, despite all things going good and well. Why? Because I cannot breathe - I have had an Asthma Attack. 

When I return to some situations, they are no longer present. The outcome is not necessarily bad, but I myself had to quit at the time, or else literally drop dead...

So, I see, "doing one's Best" is in its base sense (as offered?)... simply staying alive...! (Sorry for a Long-ish Post, there.)

You’ll love the book then Song, it explains it much better than I can. I have it in audio book format as well and if you play it while you’re asleep, it even sinks in while you’re sleeping! It’s one of those books that you’ll be reading over and over again for the rest of your life.

The be impeccable with your word one is so beautiful. It teaches you to always treat yourself with the upmost respect, compassion, love, acceptance etc in such a way that it’s just a natural thing to then treat others that way, which naturally leads to not taking things personally and the other two. 

It’s really a very beautiful book and it is life transforming once you start applying the lessons  in your life. Counselling is history, these kinds of transformational teachings are where it’s at X

Don’t take anything personally, because it’s neber about you. What someone thinks of you is not about you, it’s their perception of you based on their values and beliefs which has nothing to do with you at all. When we know that, it’s not possible to take anything personally. 

Wow no one has ever explained the taking things personally thing to me like that before, they have just yelled at me not to take comments that are personal to me so personally. If it had ever been explained live that i could have understood a lot more. I think you may have just helped my life more than 35 years of counselling has xx

BlueRay, when I said that I live  by number 4, my take on always doing my best is the same as yours, my best today didn't involve any more than getting up for an hour and making a cup of tea. 

This nasally challenged being thinks you’re doing well D.C....respect

You function more than well enough I love love love the school rules

p.p.s. Or I didn’t function well enough for them to be wanted to be kept.

P.s.. they didn’t work x 

I think that the ones I do are sensible, but I don't agree with 2 and 3.

Sometimesyou should take things personally, because they are personal. You can the do something about them, but there's no point pretending that they aren't personal when they are.

I also don't agree that making assumptions is a bad thing, it works most of the time, it's a mental shortcut for times when we don't have the available time or information to make a full evaluation. There is nothing inherently wrong with making assumptions, but you have to be prepared to reconsider those assumptions when the information available means that the assumption is no longer valid or sound.

Ahhhhhh number 4 is so touching, it’s so romantic. I love all of them. 3 and 4 wouldn’t work for me as that much holding would freak me out but I love the sentiment of them and if I was going to have a regular type of relationship with rules, I’d say they were pretty good rules, but alas, I’m not. 

Don’t be an ass is just another way of saying be impeccable with your word, but in a way most of us can understand better than the original word.

Always give more than you receive is both a universal law and an excellent rule of business.

Be honest with others, again, is number one rehashed but the book would say be honest with yourself and you will naturally be honest with others.

Having hope is controversial. It’s what the big Christian religions sold to its members which got them (the religions) rich and kept the members poor and in constant hope. It’s disempowering. It’s like saying I can’t do anything for myself so I’ll give whatever power I do have to some invisible power that I can’t even be sure is real, and just, well ‘hope’ for the best.

What is more empowering is to do away with hope, take back your power and say, I might not know what to do right now, I might need some help and when I’m ready, I’m going to get the help I need to achieve whatever it is I want to achieve. Hope is for the hopeless but we are never hopeless until we say we are.

Oh, and if number one was written in your words, I’d probably have a harder time sticking to it because sometimes I think the only way to deal with asses is to be one  not helpful to anyone but sometimes weirdly  satisfying. 

On a serious note, knowing I was a bit rubbish, the four rules I gave my OH were...

1. be honest
2. no games
3. try to keep me safe
4. hold me at the end of every day

these were four key pillars, they don’t expect love or understanding, or interest in who I am... but there they are there

1. Don’t be a ***
2. give more than you receive 
3. be honest with others, but be true to yourself
4. have hope

You haven’t understood the meaning of always doing your best DC ~ your best might be lying on your back doing nothing although your perceived idea of what you ‘think’ your best should be, some high goal or standard you’ve set yourself, but that isn’t your best, that’s just your idea of what you believe your best should be. 

Be impeccable with your word means never saying a bad word to yourself about yourself, which then extends outwards to other people. 

Don’t take anything personally, because it’s neber about you. What someone thinks of you is not about you, it’s their perception of you based on their values and beliefs which has nothing to do with you at all. When we know that, it’s not possible to take anything personally. 

Not making assumptions is probably the hardest to conquer but it’s fun trying and very enlightening. 

And number 5 which is most important, never  take anybody’s word for anything even if you had Jesus Christ stood in front of you telling you a story. Wisdom only has value when it comes from within. 

Most people lie most of the time, they trust nobody, they embrace pessimism and believe that life is ultimately futile and they treat all religions with equal disdain, so if you’re autistic, congratulations, you are also very normal.

The people who think differently to this are in the minority, hence why we have wars and poverty and terrorists running around all over the place etc etc.

But fair play, well said, I think that’s the best description of normality that I’ve heard so far. 

I wouldn’t say he’s a renegade DC, unless I have misunderstood that word, I would say he’s of the upmost normal it’s just most people aren’t as honest.

They make me giggle they’re so accurate. 

...Greetings. This is my own reply to a perhaps interesting Thread.

1. Be impeccable with your word

(Yes, I do this.)

2. Don’t take anything personally

(Learn to relax: Against strangers, they do not know you! -  E.G. - The worst may say:  "Your Mother is a @$#+!#&$@&=!&&@!..." ... To which the thought/reply might be <> "...Is that so, really? Do you even know my name?"

3. Don’t make assumptions

(Yes, I do this yet do not impose them. I just run away...)

4. Always do your best

(No, I cannot always do this due to various illnesses, but that is just me. Apart from that, I would say, if it "fails" then protest and/or learn from it. Argue one's position, yet see the other opposing point of view, always!)

and a later addition ~ 5. Be skeptical but learn to listen.

(This is 2, 3, and 4 again in a way.)

:-O

"MadWorld", you are such a Renegade...!