Life's Purpose Complete (almost)

At the end of this 18-month period, I've now completed the two most important jobs of my life.  I've cared for my mother during her final months, and I've written a book about that experience - and about the the experience of growing up with (then undiagnosed) autism.

With mum's passing, there's no one left.  My brother - my closest-living blood relative - might as well be a stranger I've never met.  I've honoured mum's memory in words... and there's not much else I can do.

I live alone, with my cat.  I work with autistic people.

Apart from that, I go through the motions of a life.  I pay the bills, I eat, I sleep, I get up in the morning and go to work, I come home, I watch a movie, I go to bed... I start again.

I'll be 60 next year.  Life has largely passed me by.  I don't really have anything left to do.  I don't want to travel any more.  I don't have anything I'm burning to learn.  I don't have anything left.  If it wasn't for Daisy, my cat, I'd probably take myself out of the picture permanently.  It would be so easy.  And such a release.

But she's here.  And she needs me.  So I must be here, too.

Until I'm no longer needed.

I count my remaining days with hers.

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