I don't know if anyone can give me some advice or guidance. I'm really hoping so.

I have a 12 year old son. He suffers with anxiety and panic disorder, and during recent cognitive behaviour therapy through CAMHs, his therapist told me he showed several traits of Autism. This was not a surprise, as this is something I have always suspected. My sons primary school never really pushed or addressed the Autism as he is very bright and always scored very highly on assessments, etc. I also never really pressed the issue as he always seemed to just get along (even with difficulties). However, once my son reached year 5 and the transition to secondary school, everything crashed and became so clear and obvious. He found it very traumatic. The change, having to learn new faces, a new setting, new routines. It was all so overwhelming for him. My son very much masks and always wants to 'fit in'. This is what I am sure his school teachers see, alongside the anxiety. However, what the school do not see is the flip side, when he comes home so overwhelmed and exhausted. The holidays and breaks in the routine cause a lot of upset and anguish. Trips take so much planning before hand and preparation for my son. We need to talk through what he will expect, show photos, websites, etc. He puts plans in place in his head, to stop himself stimming in class or allowing his thoughts to wander. He finds assessments stressful. Not because he doesn't have the knowledge but the clock ticking adds pressure and he finds it hard to then focus.

My GP recently referred my son to community paediatrics for an ASD referral, alongside the school questionnaire. I have heard today that the referral has been rejected due to them believing his only issues are social and emotional. I don't blame the school as he is only Year 7 and hasn't been there that long, and due to my son masking, they can only say what they see. Which is primarily the anxiety, not the root cause. I have been advised to go through the whole process again, with a letter from CAMHs, a new GP referral and a new questionnaire from school. This is exhausting! And, though I will most definitely go through the whole process again, I have a young son who is desperately looking for answers as to why he feels different and thinks differently, which is heart-breaking.

Has anyone else had this happen to them and is there any advice you can give me? I'm considering going private but I wouldn't even know where to start! There's so many websites online, but which ones are legit? Most of them all speak about school input, but his school really only focus on the anxiety my son suffers, not the actual root cause.

I feel like we are stuck... Please help?