Published on 12, July, 2020
Ive struggled my whole life, and still cant do simple things like go to the shop, use public transport, use the phone etc. Ive saw a few phychologists, councillers and CBT never worked.. it was never taken seriously.. was told maybe im just too shy.. or social anxiety. Ive never fitted in, in the past few years i found out more about autism and i knew right then.. this is me 100% so i did all the online tests scoring the highest possible scores. Printed it out and went to my GP. He was shocked i had never been assessed for autism before, so said he would refer me. 2 months later i get a letter from the hospital to attend an appointment with the psychiatrist.......
I went yesterday to my appointment all prepared. I had wrote notes down to remind me of what to bring up, what to say as my mind goes blank and i struggle to process things. I sat down, she went right to asking me questions so i look at my notes and she shouts to me to put my notes away! And i start stressing out and tell her i need them so there was pure silence i couldnt think of a thing to say... it was horrible... so i peek over to my notes and she tells me no! Put them away! I was fidgiting with my phone and she says " no phone " she barley spoke english and could barley understand me. She didnt care after 5mins she says " i dont know why you were even sent to me what a waste of time" my friend tried to help me and speak for me and she kept shh'ing her!!! She said everyone has a bit of autism, and she hates changes in routine too and said woman are no different to males. I came out heartbroken.. tears... went to bed at like 4pm hid under my covers. She did say shed write to my GP to refer to the specialist team. But i have no idea who that is and i cannot be waiting 2-3 years what can i do... i feel lost... no support... no nothing.. and im still crying over this woman yesterday!!!!
SilentNinja, the thing is, there is no 'magic' cure or therapy that is going to work for you unless you are prepared to put in the work and cooperation to allow such approaches to help you. In the end, it is you that is going to help yourself and all stuff like CBT etc. can do is to show you the way to achieve that. It's as well to remember that the brain is highly amenable to 'elasticity', in other words, human beings are capable of altering the way they think and feel about the world around them and despite the special challenges of people on the autistic spectrum, there are plenty of examples of such individuals who have achieved great success in life despite such handicaps.You have to be prepared to meet your therapist halfway Maybe this particular therapist is not right for you, I don't know as I wasn't there, but please don't fall into a negative attitude about therapists in general as there a some really great ones about. Maybe you've just been unlucky.