Are there any women here?

Hi Misfit61. First time on here or any forum. I was referred by my psychiatrist and am in the process of being assessed. It is looking like they are going to say I have autism but I just can't cope with the thought. Anyhow I am a 62 year old female and I also like animals the countryside and crafting. i find crafting gives me a place to escape.

...lol. X

I thought six was excessive and so counted as one :O lol -  I do not do half measures as a result of my ADHD leanings I am either 'all in or all out'.  It would have been 6 or none at all he he x

Lol....! It’s not an anomaly... I’m a mum of one... would have liked more...but hey... life! 

I am 43 and have 6 children but I also have hyperactive impulsive ADHD, so that explains that anomaly lol 

Nearly fifty and no kids, never wanted them as I said from about twelve, still uncomfortable around kids, no idea what they want or what to say. 

Seems so.... which is such a relief....it seemed very full of testosterone...so good to see people coming out of hiding. 

Hi...

I've not got children. I don't think all that would suit me at all.

Hello, welcome to the forum. I'm a self-diagnosed female. I think there are quite a few women on here.

Two children...one 14, the other 58.. the latter my partner....they and ASD have driven me up the wall...one day, up and over....and run for the hills.......... hehe

58 and no kids.  That I know of, anyway.

58 and no children. I love them but it would have driven me completely up the wall!

Should read I am formerly diagnosed! 

Welcome The TalentedMute. I am 56 year old female. Single and no children. Grew up and identify most with the countryside but sadly live in a town. Made my way through life by sheer determination until my 50’s when my body finally said Enough! I have had depression/anxiety most of my life as well as not fitting in, multiple jobs/potential careers. ! I’m not formally diagnosed with Dcd developmental coordination disorder/dyspraxia, then adhd and then Aspergers but it all took quite a while as at each stage it didn’t seem to quite cover everything and even now from fellow contributors Im discovering other things that fit too like eds. I sought out the diagnoses for myself because I needed to know but also to validate myself to family and finally to get support and help. So far it’s just me that it makes a difference to, my family ignore it and no support in the area. I’m not a geek, I don’t see myself as high functioning though do have a hard fought for degree I’m not used to having men in my life so am even more uncomfortable talking to them. I like the countryside, crafting, animals, audiobooks and when something interests me research on the internet. So that’s a potted me. You are not alone and welcome to a place you can be yourself. 

Definitely not the only one - 47 and never had kids. I don't like them, and apparently didn't like them even when I was one.

Disambiguating Cynosure said:

I also personally suspect that I am the only person over 30 who does *not* have children, eh?

no, surely not, not even the only female

Mind reader!

I am growing my first real beard, started growing it properly  just before Xmas,

I had a small beard when younger when I was a hippy then later a biker,also had long hair back then,hated hair dressers,

my beard is very distinctive and a full face non pretentious type,yet to be given any kind of shape,

I feel so comfortable dressed this way, 

I feel like it is me, not a costume this time, I am not looking to please anyone but myself. I don’t care if anyone likes it or not.

I am struggling to dress it down,the shops are full of similar style clothes right now, but it is the detail that makes it work. Mismatched,durable,practical ,honest,even worn or scruffy.working class honesty.

I love Victorian era clothes but the closest I get to wearing them is perhaps 'Joe Browns' stuff.

I think being male would be pretty excellent for 'masking' because of the facial hair possibilities! Although I'd need a pretty fast growth to keep up with all of my changes, like the possibility of growing a beard in a week! It would also be pretty useful to hide behind, like a real mask, and cover up things like blushing - practical and protective! 

I am a Male but omg you echo my mind to,

so much my way for so long, as a young child I would dress to try to fit in, it never worked as I could only have second hand clothes handed down to me.

As an adult I often say I am like a tv character called Mr Ben, he visited a costume shop and changed into costumes and went on adventures each time.

since finding out my self diagnosed self I have chosen my new me,real me is to wear Victorian clothing! Victorian worker in his Sunday best, not rich squire or pretentious young goatee bearded reality show contender.Lol.

”Endymion said”

“I've read about exactly what you describe as being very common among females with HFA! I sort of do it too in that I'm not aware of copying any particular person but I do 'put on costumes' (if that makes any sense?) and 'dress for the part / role' I need to play that day:

I feel / become (?) more articulate when i dress 'up' and feel / become more adept at successfully handling appointments such as with professionals or an an interview situation. For instance, I've never been turned down for a role after an interview but I've refused some roles based on how exhausting I found that interview (am I making any sense here?).

I too wondered about multiple personality disorder but dismissed it as apparently those so afflicted are not aware of all of their different personalities and / or cannot always choose when they appear. For me, it's a very deliberate coping mechanism and I prepare for it in advance by choosing 'confident + capable' clothes the night before (or whatever role it is I'm preparing for). It's hard to explain but it really is like putting on costumes for a part in a play.

Since my diagnosis I have wondered where these roles end and I begin (do 'I' even exist in here?) but something someone on here said actually made me relax about the whole thing, it was about the fact that the real 'us' is the one holding the mask in place all along and about being able to be ourselves in private (or with those we are most close to). For instance, I don't have a 'partner' role in private or an 'owners' role with the dog - those are just me.”

I love that line :) "You just sung my life with your song!!" That's an excellent description :) It fits with my experiences of reading so many of the posts I've read in the last month or so on here. 

What you describe about the make-up, hair, nails etc. sounds EXACTLY like me up until about, maybe, five years ago or so. It was EXHAUSTING to keep up.

Then, having moved to a rural farming community (I originally came from the city.) I noticed that a lot (most if not all) of the women in this part of the world around my age (late 30's onwards) didn't wear make-up or do any of that at all!

It was a bit of a revelation to me that my age could legitimately 'free' me from some of these time-consuming preparations and I gradually weaned myself off them. It took YEARS!! I still wont go into town or to a casual community event without doing my hair (I feel that's a vital part of my 'costumes') but I actually don't wear make-up at all now and I think it's helped me to feel more 'real' somehow. 

As well as doing my hair, and having a wardrobe of 'costumes', I also still need to have my nails done. I don't think I could, or would want to, let go of these things. 

It's strange actually talking about this. If I could show you inside my wardrobe you would have no idea "Who lives in a house like this?", because it looks as if half a dozen different personalities share the same wardrobe! The Professional, The Mum, The Wellie-booted villager, The Bohemian Artist, ... all with their personalities, mannerisms, accessories, ... so weird.

There are some 'personalities' I've outgrown over the years too but, as I've gotten older, I've found twisted fun in pulling them out of the bag when I'm dressed in a different role - it really messes with people's heads and i think it's a good lesson not to judge a book by it's cover! Especially when dealing with teenage children and their friends! I see it as one big benefit of having a few identities to choose from.