Am I really THAT different.

So, I'm twenty two years old and I was recently diagnosed a few months ago but then I've never really felt like I belong,
I've made friends in the past, but we all seem to grow apart. 

I'm not sure how to go about making more, I've tried going out on night's out and stuff, as I'm "Supposed to do." at my age, like Nightclubs, and bars, pubs. 
I don't drink, nor am I allowed, so people slowly get more and more drunk, and their inhibitions go. I find myself just feeling uncomfortable.

It's not that I DONT like talking to people, it's really that I don't know how to engage certain situations, since people aren't honest.

People can say "Oh, yeah I'm fine." and I'll think "Oh okay -carries on talking-" then they just like snap and get pissy, and im like "What?" 

Nightclubs are not really that fun, if you're not drinking. (maybe its not even if you are.) but yeah, people shove past you, you get crowded in. People look at you strangely cs' you're just in the corner looking at the lights reflect on the smoke, and listening to the overwhelming loud music.

I feel like I'm losing everyone I know, that I care about. Because I don't know how to keep them in my life. 

I can't find a partner, because I don't even know who i am, and the fake persona I've used for years is slowly fading, cs' I don't want to be that person anymore, I want to be myself. But the only people that accept me as that, are my immediate family (Which isn't a complaint) but it'd be nice to have some other people.

Does anyone else experience this sort of thing, or has in the past and found a solution, cs' I'm not sure how to deal with this, and a sure answer of what to do would be amazing.

Thanks, I'm new to this community by the way, I hope I havent dragged you all down with my trivial problems. 

Parents
  • Hi, I'm in the same boat. I just turned 24 and I have one friend who is in her 40s and that is it. 

    I've gone through life either with no friends or I make friends and we quickly drift apart. I find social interactions difficult, I learned to come across my confident but since getting to this age I'm now at a I can't be bothered and don't care stage with regards to interacting and making friends. I feel I do prefer a lot of my own company most of the time. 

    I find I'm lost and don't really know my real self and what's fake, however since the diagnosis I feel.more free and to not care what others think in the same way as I used to because now I know why I'm different, and I actually prefer it as everyone else is quite boring. 

    I feel it's okay to have friends wonder in and out of your life or just have people you no that like a certain interest and you only hangout when that interest comes about. 

    I do have a partner currently although very lucky he is neurotypixal but had autistic friends so he understands me  most of the time.

    • But if your look for a friend I'm happy to oblige (: 
Reply
  • Hi, I'm in the same boat. I just turned 24 and I have one friend who is in her 40s and that is it. 

    I've gone through life either with no friends or I make friends and we quickly drift apart. I find social interactions difficult, I learned to come across my confident but since getting to this age I'm now at a I can't be bothered and don't care stage with regards to interacting and making friends. I feel I do prefer a lot of my own company most of the time. 

    I find I'm lost and don't really know my real self and what's fake, however since the diagnosis I feel.more free and to not care what others think in the same way as I used to because now I know why I'm different, and I actually prefer it as everyone else is quite boring. 

    I feel it's okay to have friends wonder in and out of your life or just have people you no that like a certain interest and you only hangout when that interest comes about. 

    I do have a partner currently although very lucky he is neurotypixal but had autistic friends so he understands me  most of the time.

    • But if your look for a friend I'm happy to oblige (: 
Children
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