This response is from an individual who visits a site that caters for Aspergers people, it is in response to a long list of potential traits of a Male aspie.
I found it very interesting and I have always maintained that if there was an island just for ND people and they were left alone to be who they truly are it would work.
It would take a generation or two of learning and forgetting incorrect learnings of trying to be NT.
They would in a closed protected environment become the new ASD neurotypicals.
• Anonymous said… As a woman with AS who has been happily married for almost 30 years to a man with AS, the mother of a daughter and four sons who are all on the spectrum, the grandmother of little Spectrumites and as a fully human being with a complete range of emotions I would like to say that it is the mis-match between different neurologies that causes most of the problems. Oh, and I'm the daughter and grand-daughter of Spectrumites too. I have dropped my non-AS 'friends' over the years as I was unable to meet their expectations that I should change to be more like them. They never tried to understand me, yet expected ME to understand THEM! I have great Spectrum friends and we have fortnightly family get-togethers that are huge fun. Socializing with other Spectrumites is easy. We understand each other’s body language; eye-contact is not a problem nor is bluntness and honesty in conversation. We make allowances for each other's sensory difficulties and can tell if the other is uncomfortable, and why
Do you think the NTs would miss us?...would we miss them?
The NT wouldn’t notice in social situations, they would notice suddenly our talents that are mostly unrecognised by them but which they have become reliant on.
We would miss there lack of understanding and the refusal to allow us to coexist without prejudice.
The autopia way of life in theory could work.
What if we all hit meltdown at the same time? What if sometime decided to declare themselves as “leader”....and divide the colony in term of detractors and loyalists? Are nds devoid of ambition ?
Why would anyone have a “meltdown”?
There would be an agreed upon nominated person who has sufficient knowledge and skill to give guidance in whatever needs managing within the social expectations of the majority, but unlike NT ways there would not be greed and manipulation to corrupt the common goals.
I only see acceptance,understanding, tolerance and being able to exhist as the major expectations of such a community,
During the last few years since I identified myself as being Aspergers I have stopped socialising with NT people I have known for years, as I could no longer see a 'connect' between us. My social needs seem to be being met by my partner, who has Aspergers traits herself. A few times a year her son and his girlfriend visit (both diagnosed Aspergers) and I enjoy these visits as we seem to understand each other and the conversation is honest. I also have been attending a weekly autism support group, where I feel comfortable with the other autistic people there (it's an unstructured group meeting in private in a large youth club cafe).
At my place of work I have come to recognise that in particular those NT people in positions of authority are mostly 'dishonest', meaning that for what ever reasons they act and behave with ulterior motives: seemingly it is good management to use manipulation, subtle coercion, untruths, etc., many "qualities" that autistic people seem to lack.
Indeed I find that being around such people fatiguing, as I am trying to process my confusion of how their external behaviour does not match up with their interior behaviour. I probably am therefore avoiding many NT people because their odd way of being is draining.
Perhaps it would be an idea to set up a support group run by autistic people for such NT's, a space where these NT's could feel safe to behave in an honest way.