Interpreting situations at a particular age

I would like to know, from women who are either autistic and/or adhd who are experiencing or have experienced perimenopause or menopause if they have or have had more difficulty than usual in reading or interpreting social situations. Ive coached myself over the years to make this easier to manage but I am now finding, even amongst people I am close to or have known a long time that, although nothing has seemingly changed, I am struggling to interpret intent and have started feeling very insecure, defensive and seem to be second guessing a lot of the time. Often, it doesn't feel like the usual me but at the same time is also very real. This stays internal as far as possible because it's important I am mindful around others.

Edit: I think what im saying is - autistic traits around communication and social interaction seem to have become "more autistic". I understand at this time of life there are challenges for everyone but there's an additional layer of challenge to navigate for autists and other neurodivergent folk, and what the impact of this is.


I dont need links to NAS resources but I would like to know other people's experience specifically around this. Resonance or how they were able to deal with it in a positive way. I have looked at other fora online but they are massive echo chambers with everyone being very sure of themselves. 

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  • I started to get social phobia the more menopausal I got, I think it was when I was going from perimenopause to menopause, I'd always been able to see the games people played socially and was rarely comfortable with them, but I got into a state where I just couldn't cope with the whole thing anymore, I was alright at home, I could have people round and enjoy myself, but not go out to events or pubs. It didn't help that alcohol, that had previously helped me cope with any anxiety I felt and fear of DOING IT WRONG!, suddenly started giving me massive hot flushes and making me sick, half a glass of wine and spend the rest of the evening being really queasy before ending up with my head in the toilet, half a glass of champagne with xmas dinner and I ended up sat in my parents back garden in my underwear trying desperately to cool down.

    I've often likened menopause as adolescence in reverse and I think a lot of the worries I had as a teen came up again but reversed, like why should I care if some one like me? Instead of, what if they don't like me? 

  • I understand what you are saying and my own tolerances these days seem to be wafer thin sometimes. The problem I seem to be facing is with people I know well. It isn't about game playing because I do not get into those situations. Your contribution is very valid to the discussion anyway, as others will read it.

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