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OCD and talking to a therapist about intrusive thoughts

Kate Kestrel

Hi - my son (who is in his mid twenties and is autistic) has recently started having therapy with the nhs for ocd. He’s struggled with ocd for many years. His problem with his therapist is that he cannot bring himself to tell her exactly what his intrusive thoughts are. He has been able to tell her the nature of the thoughts (ie they have a sexual component and he is incredibly embarrassed to talk about them) but he can’t tell her exactly what they are. This is partly due to embarrassment and shame about them, and partly because he fears that if he says them then something might happen. I’m sure that these fears are incredibly common and I’ve assured him she won’t be shocked or judge him - but he still can’t bring himself to tell her exactly what they are.

He’s had 2 sessions with her - but she’s already really pressuring him and threatening to stop treating him if he doesn’t tell her what his intrusive thoughts are if he doesn’t tell her in the next session (which is this week). 
She has even said (I’m paraphrasing) ‘there are lots of people who want and need  to have this therapy and if your not willing to commit then…..etc etc’. 

Because he’s autistic he feels terrible about being told he’s ’doing the wrong thing’ or being a bad person - and he feels really judged and pressured by her. What can we do? 

Has anyone else had this problem - and how did you resolve it?

My son’s life is made a misery by his OCD and I don’t want this therapist to discharge him without helping him at all. 
Thanks. 

Parents

  • What a very difficult situation all round. 

    Just thinking about your son's situation:

    "embarrassment and shame about his thoughts". If I understand it, the thoughts which are part of his OCD. OCD which the therapist is there to help with. Perhaps the therapist needs to know in order to understand and then help your son.  It must be a very pressured situation for your son.  I might feel better if my thoughts could be written down,  said over the phone or even when I was facing away from the therapist.

    "partly because he fears that if he says them then something might happen." I haven't always been sure what I could say, wanted to say, was expected to say to some therapists. I had fears too and no-one to allay them.  However, I do wished I could have told someone who could have allayed my fears. 

    I wish your son and you progress with therapy and his OCD.      

      

Reply

  • What a very difficult situation all round. 

    Just thinking about your son's situation:

    "embarrassment and shame about his thoughts". If I understand it, the thoughts which are part of his OCD. OCD which the therapist is there to help with. Perhaps the therapist needs to know in order to understand and then help your son.  It must be a very pressured situation for your son.  I might feel better if my thoughts could be written down,  said over the phone or even when I was facing away from the therapist.

    "partly because he fears that if he says them then something might happen." I haven't always been sure what I could say, wanted to say, was expected to say to some therapists. I had fears too and no-one to allay them.  However, I do wished I could have told someone who could have allayed my fears. 

    I wish your son and you progress with therapy and his OCD.      

      

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