Not sure whether it's worth pursuing an autism assessment

You wrote that you have an eating disorder. It sounds that your sense of identity is ok in your original post. I wanted to write though some people with an eating disorder. Getting a diagnosis of ASD can help them to form an identity away from their eating disorder. It can also help you to take better care of your needs. I myself had an eating disorder when I was diagnosed with autism.

Thanks so much for sharing your story, Hergé! I relate to some aspects of this, but I don't struggle with friendships as an adult (I have multiple close friends). I often monitor how I'm coming across, but I don't think I adjust my behaviour – socialising in a way that others seem to like comes quite naturally to me in the moment, though it hasn't always (I deliberately forced myself out of my shell when I was about 16). I often find socialising tiring, but I'm not quite sure why that is.

Thanks for your reply, Bunny!

I'm finding it difficult to judge the cause of my childhood social difficulties retrospectively. I preferred adult company, I was shy, I was socially anxious, and I often chose to spend time alone rather than with other children. But I don't think I actually found it difficult to read/understand them – I just found many of them either scary (mean, boisterous, overly sexual in ways I found uncomfortable) or uninteresting.

I scored 5 on the AQ-10 and 29 on the AQ-50.

Thanks for your reply, Martin! I took a few tests and got borderline scores. I tend to get high scores in the sensory elements and low scores in the social elements. I also have severe OCD, anxiety, and an eating disorder, so I think those things might be affecting some of my scores, including the way I answer the questions – I feel unsure about my answer to pretty much every single question because the options ('strongly agree', 'agree', etc.) aren't sufficiently granular/nuanced.

As has already been said, the best short term thing to do is take online autism tests.

It is entirely possible to be autistic and a 'people-pleaser', and be well-liked by other people. That describes me and I am clinically diagnosed with ASD. For intelligent autistic people, who are capable of observing and copying the social interactions of others, autism does not often consist of things that allistic people can do that we definitively cannot; it is more that doing social interactions is very, very much more difficult for us, is exhausting and sometimes negatively affects our mental wellbeing.

Hi,

My diagnosis came about as they were trying to find a way of treating my depression and understanding that route cause. I was diagnosed at 53, did it change my life, no it didn't but it did help me understand some of my difficulties and to be less harsh with myself.

I struggle with social life and the whole human emotional connection thing, other than my wife and kids I really don't have anyone that is consider to be a friend. I've been told that I'm warm, intelligent, funny and great to be around but I find it utterly exhausting, it could be because I'm constantly monitoring and adjusting my behaviour in real time just to appear a certain way not to be weird.

As a result of my diagnosis it was suggested that I also get assessed for ADHD, so I now also have an ADHD-i diagnosis.

Going through life feeling like that you just don't really belong has really affected my self esteem and self belief. Ultimately I think my diagnosis was as positive step.

Take care and good luck with your decision.

Hi and welcome to the community!

We're not allowed to offer medical advice to each other here, but you might find it helpful to compare the traits that you've noticed with those detailed in these NAS resources, which explain the main signs / symptoms / characteristics of autism. They might also help you to identity and note down any additional things that you recognise in yourself:

NAS - What is autism?

NAS - Signs that a child or adult may be autistic

This article might also be helpful in respect of the social aspects that you mentioned:

NAS - Autistic women and girls

It includes, for example:

"Autistic characteristics in women and girls may differ from those of other autistic people. They might seem to have fewer social difficulties than autistic men and boys, but this could be because they are more likely to 'mask' their autistic traits (though the stress of doing so can result in anxiety and overwhelm)"

If you'd like to learn more about getting assessed, this article is a good place to start:

NAS - How to request an autism assessment

It's from the NAS's diagnosis hub, which covers all stages of the process.

For those who live in England, it also includes information about requesting an assessment via Right to Choose (which enables access to private providers who might have shorter waiting lists than the NHS, but with your referral and assessment still fully funded by the NHS).

The NAS articles include links to some screening questionnaires that you can complete, to get a better idea of whether your suspicions are correct. But you might prefer to use the website below for this. It enables them to be completed online (with scores calculated for you), saved as PDFs and - if the results support your suspicions and you decide to seek a formal diagnosis - printed off to take with you to the GP.

The AQ-10 or AQ-50 seem to be the most frequently used / required by GPs in support of NHS referrals. (RAADS-R might also be helpful, but recent research has thrown doubt on its clinical validity as a self-report screening tool).

Embrace Autism - screening tests