Diagnosed a week ago…

Hello.

I think it is a very personal thing. Your life path is specific to you. It also depends on the state you are in when you get your diagnosis. If you are burnt out, dysregulated and struggling to cope, it hits differently to if you are kind of ok.

If you are on your own, it is different to if you have friends and family.if you have people to talk to, it is different to if you are alone.

The challenge is the realisation you aren't quite who you thought you were. This can be a profound hit to your identity. It causes you to question everything. What is true? It takes months to come to terms with. Ultimately you are 95% who you think you are, but it takes time to realise this and to address the 5%, but the uncertainty is hard. You feel unmoored, lost, unsure, not quite grounded. The foundations of yourself are in doubt and not secure. It passes but takes lots of thinking, imo.

Also, you are on possession of a new lens. You see your whole life in a different light. This can cause a huge sense of loss, and deep grief, amplified by the dysregulation of burn out. I didn't know what my feelings were, it took months to understand them. I didn't know why I was crying multiple times especially a day. I just wanted it to end.

So what helps?

Please be kind to yourself. You did the best you could. You managed, struggled, endured, hoped and tried. It may not have worked as best it could have, but you didn't have the knowledge. You did well, you made it this far. The system worked as intended, it kept you alive and going.

Ease off on the self-imposed pressure. You don't need to pretend you aren't stressed, you don't need to ignore the knot in your stomach, you don't need to smile. It is ok to be quiet. It is ok to find things hard. It doesn't mean you need to hide under a rock, but just allow yourself to feel things and accept them.

Know that this is going to be a lengthy process. It will be layers of an onion. You will change your mind a number of times. You can know things but not feel them till much later.

Try to acknowledge everything you think. Put it into words, write it down. It gets it out and it forms your cloudy to noughts into real things you can look at and think about. 

I watched YouTube videos to get various opinions. I also used AI. Knowledge helps to identify what is normal, what is autistic, what is quirky, etc. then you stop judging yourself and start living with yourself.

It can be summed up in one thing, try to be calm.

Finding how to do this is the challenge.

Hello.

I think it is a very personal thing. Your life path is specific to you. It also depends on the state you are in when you get your diagnosis. If you are burnt out, dysregulated and struggling to cope, it hits differently to if you are kind of ok.

If you are on your own, it is different to if you have friends and family.if you have people to talk to, it is different to if you are alone.

The challenge is the realisation you aren't quite who you thought you were. This can be a profound hit to your identity. It causes you to question everything. What is true? It takes months to come to terms with. Ultimately you are 95% who you think you are, but it takes time to realise this and to address the 5%, but the uncertainty is hard. You feel unmoored, lost, unsure, not quite grounded. The foundations of yourself are in doubt and not secure. It passes but takes lots of thinking, imo.

Also, you are on possession of a new lens. You see your whole life in a different light. This can cause a huge sense of loss, and deep grief, amplified by the dysregulation of burn out. I didn't know what my feelings were, it took months to understand them. I didn't know why I was crying multiple times especially a day. I just wanted it to end.

So what helps?

Please be kind to yourself. You did the best you could. You managed, struggled, endured, hoped and tried. It may not have worked as best it could have, but you didn't have the knowledge. You did well, you made it this far. The system worked as intended, it kept you alive and going.

Ease off on the self-imposed pressure. You don't need to pretend you aren't stressed, you don't need to ignore the knot in your stomach, you don't need to smile. It is ok to be quiet. It is ok to find things hard. It doesn't mean you need to hide under a rock, but just allow yourself to feel things and accept them.

Know that this is going to be a lengthy process. It will be layers of an onion. You will change your mind a number of times. You can know things but not feel them till much later.

Try to acknowledge everything you think. Put it into words, write it down. It gets it out and it forms your cloudy to noughts into real things you can look at and think about. 

I watched YouTube videos to get various opinions. I also used AI. Knowledge helps to identify what is normal, what is autistic, what is quirky, etc. then you stop judging yourself and start living with yourself.

It can be summed up in one thing, try to be calm.

Finding how to do this is the challenge.