Hi,
I’m not sure how to put this but I thought this place would be good for this kind of question.
So I’ve been single for many years 10 years+. I’ve never really had a serious relationship, when I did start a relationship I would get a terrified feeling and break up with the person straight away.
Now that I will be 32 in November I feel lonely, and that I am missing out in life. But I am literally terrified of everything to do with relationships. I’ve tried dating apps (I really hate those) and had people interested but when we try to start something I just back out of it.
I’m trying speed dating lately and feel this is better for me because I am actually talking to the guy, but I am terrified to start anything with any of the guys. I’m scared of the progression, everything to do with a relationship, actually having sex one day (this is my major thing I am scared of), worried I would be to boring or too guarded, worried I will fall out of interest of the person, worried of being cheated on or end up in an abusive relationship (my mum has been in a emotional and verbally abusive relationship with my dad, and only realising in the last couple of years).
I’m just terrified of everything…too terrified to actually try something. I would love to have children one day but I’ve always had trouble with my periods so I fear I won’t be able to have children or something.
I always envy other couples, my brother etc even though I know we should never compare…I just can’t help myself. I just feel lost, lonely and feel like I am missing out on things.
So…I have no idea how to overcome this or anything x
