Hi All,
How many of you identify with the experience of ending up on the outer of every social group you've ever joined?
I spent most of last night lying awake running over what had become clear at dinner: the group of friends I made through sport a few years ago is divided into clear personalities, as per the characters in this rather fun book, "The Hive":
https://www.amazon.com.au/Hive-Gill-Hornby/dp/034913930X
You'll note my online name is Beatrice. In the Hive, Beatrice is the 'undisputed queen bee'. That's a little in-joke from a girl who feels and sees much more than most of her peers, but who never navigates the unwritten social rules that would see her at the top of the pecking order. Instead, I'm really Rachel, watching them all, keeping my distance, and painfully aware that the line between amused observer and miserable outcast is a thin one.
And thus it has ever been.
How to navigate that?
I've always preferred friendships one-on-one. Maybe I should just continue with those and not even try with the coffees and lunches after group events like training or parent meetings.
And what about the workplace? That's a minefield of its own.
I'd love to hear your experiences of navigating these challenges. How many of you feel like you're kind, polite, interested and interesting, but nevertheless end up on the outer every time? What's your solution?
Warm wishes,
Beatrice
