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Scared of going for a diagnosis

Alice

Hi All,

I'm new to community and looking for general support and advise...

I have been slowly coming to realisation that I'm likely Autistic and it has taken a lot of time piecing things together to come to this point.

The issue I'm now having is going for a diagnosis scares me silly. I worry about not being authentic and it all being in my head. Being a woman and learning to mask to survive to a level that I'm not even aware of scares me that I might not get the diagnosis. Having no-one from my childhood years that can provide information, very little of my own memory as a child and evidence as a child also means I worry I can't get diagnosis.  

These doubts stop my going ahead as it become too overwhelming for me, but I also need help to then start the unmasking process and get help getting to know people. I feel quite lonely at the moment and don't really have friends or family I can open up to.

Bit of a ramble above, but looking to see have others had this same experience of emotions and feeling of the process? Some confirmation from others of similar experiences to my own could really help alleviate the anxiety.

Also, any advise on your experience as a woman going through process would be gladly received.

Thank, Alice

Parents

  • I applied for my assessment quite late, I'm in my mid 60's now. The doctor asked why, I said I wanted confirmation, rather than just suspecting I'm autistic.

    I, too, don't remember much of my early childhood, Anything before the age of 11 is a jumble. I had one or two strong memories, but couldn't tell you where or when they were.

    As I got older, I did feel lonely a lot, plus felt like an outsider all the time. The idea of being autistic back then didn't exist, it's only recent decade or so I've started to suspect.

    My assessment got input from my partner but they only know me from the last twenty years, nothing from my family as such.

    I've felt like an impostor in most of what I do, so when I was told, "Yes, you are autistic", it was a bit weird. It's one thing to suspect, but to actually be told was very emotional.

    (I'm a man, for context)

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  • I applied for my assessment quite late, I'm in my mid 60's now. The doctor asked why, I said I wanted confirmation, rather than just suspecting I'm autistic.

    I, too, don't remember much of my early childhood, Anything before the age of 11 is a jumble. I had one or two strong memories, but couldn't tell you where or when they were.

    As I got older, I did feel lonely a lot, plus felt like an outsider all the time. The idea of being autistic back then didn't exist, it's only recent decade or so I've started to suspect.

    My assessment got input from my partner but they only know me from the last twenty years, nothing from my family as such.

    I've felt like an impostor in most of what I do, so when I was told, "Yes, you are autistic", it was a bit weird. It's one thing to suspect, but to actually be told was very emotional.

    (I'm a man, for context)

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