Not able to get diagnosed/not taken seriously as a woman

What Dorrmouse said.

there's still a lot of prejudice against autistic women and some are jumping on the "overdiagnosis" bandwagon.

In some ways I was lucky enough to get diagnosed before the reshuffle of criteria and all the tests etc, but still had or have any support apart from here.

I remember being asked by the psychologist if I got upset when people cried and tried to stop them, he was really shocked when I said no I don't, and that often people need to cry to release feelings, or that I might even have made them cry, he got really airated and I think this was what convinced him I really am autistic.

The tests often don't accomodate the way women manifest autism, which can be very different to the male orrientated view that was in vogue when the test were created, hopefully they'll be ammended soon.

I don't understand how can one get upset when seeing someone crying. Ok, I get it that someone is upset and cries but it has nothing to do with me. This is actually my 'super power' when it comes to raising my daughter. I feel absolutely nothing when she cries to get something. I also feel nothing when she cries because she got hurt or got sick. But in that second case I help her, for example quick pack up and i take her to emergency room. My husband cries together with her, I am the one acting without any emotions. Just to be clear- I love my daughter. 

Tears are telling you something, in the case of illness it's that the person is unwell or injured

Thats totally different to manipulative tears and I've know a few people who can shed crocodile tears at the drop of a hat, it's those people who really annoy me and I find myself with very little wish for them to do anything except shut up and go away.

And what if someone's crying happy tears? Why would I want to stop that, I might not understand why someone would cry at a wedding, but that dosen't mean that I don't know that people do it and it's an apparently natural response to overwhelming emotion.

I don't doubt that you love your daughter, you're just unimpressed by crying.

Many people are taught to behave a certain way to people showing emotions like crying, but it's also often conditional on who is expressing the emotion. The difference in your behaviours are allowing your daughter to come between you, " mummy ignores me, daddy gives in to me", I can see that setting an unhelpful precedent for later life.

Havew you asked your husband if theres anyone he wouldn't feel sad for and want to help if he saw them crying?

Many people are taught to behave a certain way to people showing emotions like crying, but it's also often conditional on who is expressing the emotion. The difference in your behaviours are allowing your daughter to come between you, " mummy ignores me, daddy gives in to me", I can see that setting an unhelpful precedent for later life.

Havew you asked your husband if theres anyone he wouldn't feel sad for and want to help if he saw them crying?