Coping with family lack of support and understanding as an autistic parent.

Good morning from America, Jude66!

I might be a little bit luckier with a bit more of a supportive network around me, but like you I am an Autistic parent, so I can appreciate the difficulties that come with that. 

Jude66 said:

okay its good you're getting help and we might think about letting you back in if we see an improvement

Now I don’t know your situation well, but it sounds to me like you’re dealing with conditional love. And honestly? You don’t need that. If I were you, I’d lean in on other relationships that are more consistent. This could be friends, neighbors, church folk (if applicable), coworkers (if applicable), etc. Sometimes the best family you’ve got is the family you adopt.

It wasn’t easy for me, but when I recently moved to a new house I gave my number out to all of my next door neighbors. I figured I don’t want to solely rely on my parents/in-laws if trouble comes up; There might someday be a problem best helped by someone next door rather than a family member. For example, I once had to rush one of my kids to a hospital for an injury, and I had no choice at the time but to ask my mom for help to watch the other daughter. Now my mother holds that incident over my head. It would have been better if I had asked a neighbor for help, instead.

 profdanger  I dont have many other relationships and I lost 1 of my 2 best friends last August. I dont work due to fibromyalgia so that dosent help. I have 2 aunts but they don't understand things like autism, RSD etc. Ive struggled all my life with friendships.

 profdanger  I dont have many other relationships and I lost 1 of my 2 best friends last August. I dont work due to fibromyalgia so that dosent help. I have 2 aunts but they don't understand things like autism, RSD etc. Ive struggled all my life with friendships.