Is there any information or advice anywhere, on how to deal with family not supporting or understanding my troubles etc?
I feel like they are saying "okay its good you're getting help and we might think about letting you back in if we see an improvement ".
You owe yourself a wonderful life, learning to understand yourself and on your terms and timeframe.
As you learn more about yourself through the assessment process, (whatever that feedback may be), you can use that insight to begin to adapt your World to better support yourself.
Change cannot happen all at once. Pacing yourself and being patient can feel frustrating and daunting. Many of us are here as testimony to the work put into that process offering us some benefits of outcome.
If people have supportive family members - that is all to the good. However, for many reasons, sometimes those we would have trusted to know and support us best ...may struggle to fully appreciate the effort and energy involved on our part as we work through it all.
If someone is Autistic, there may well be some other family members who are also neurodivergent (whether those people know it, or not). It doesn't matter whether those people are our age, older, or younger. If there are any other people in your family who simply feel less "hard work" to be around - maybe you can recharge yourself a bit in their company - it really doesn't matter about the activity, or none. Just to "be" in appropriate company is restful. I guess; it is about "connection".
It sounded like you feel your family might have been judging you (for what you could not reasonably have been aware of before), that they are expecting some sort of socially acceptable "fix" to occur (that is not what understanding, accepting and including Autism is about), and that there is a perceived element of conditional future welcome if you are deemed "better" at some stage (know that: you are already perfect - any changes you subsequently choose to explore are: first and foremost; for your benefit and ease).
I feel there is often a period of adjustment needed on both sides when people start to learn about their Autism. We don't know everything we might and not do our relatives and close friends / colleagues. Everyone of quality would want you to be healthy and happy. Anyone who cannot meet that benchmark may need educating and more careful handling via implementing some prudent boundaries. Not harsh "walls" and cutting people off / going "no contact" - but rather; worth seeing if learning to deploy some boundary techniques might help establish a new way forward (family dynamics can be complex things, a bit of trial and error might be necessary!).
For example, I have a relative who had become far, far, too accustomed to trading on my good auspices (aka get me running around doing their errands - irrespective of what was going on in my life at the time). You can imagine the type: only phones you when they want you to do something (doesn't even ask about your life ...just manages to weave into the conversation how you are going to be helpful to that person). Same person: apparently oblivious to the concept of reciprocating when the need was yours for a change. Post-diagnosis: I realised this situation needed a grown-up adjustment. Now, I don't mind, when I have the energy and I am doing something which might also be of use to them - sometimes being helpful. However, endlessly, running around, constantly at their beck and call - only to suit them - ...just not happening anymore (I owe it to myself to do better than that these days).
If I have understood correctly, that you are an Autistic parent - and there is any chance that one or more of your children might be Autistic - you might find this worth bookmarking for future reference (Parent To Parent Emotional Support Service Helpline - "Our focus is on emotional support and understanding what it is like for you as a parent. We offer empathy, understanding, and a safe space to talk through your feelings and experiences"):
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/help-and-support/parent-to-parent-helpline
I am not sure if I have quite captured and responded to your individual situation - hopefully, if nothing else, you might feel a bit more as though other people have experienced some similar situations and that prioritising investing in yourself; can eventually aid some more sustainable "bridge building" with other relatives ...with you carefully retaining the rules and role of "toll keeper" - as you begin to better understand which engagement styles with people best supports you and your household's needs.
You owe yourself a wonderful life, learning to understand yourself and on your terms and timeframe.
As you learn more about yourself through the assessment process, (whatever that feedback may be), you can use that insight to begin to adapt your World to better support yourself.
Change cannot happen all at once. Pacing yourself and being patient can feel frustrating and daunting. Many of us are here as testimony to the work put into that process offering us some benefits of outcome.
If people have supportive family members - that is all to the good. However, for many reasons, sometimes those we would have trusted to know and support us best ...may struggle to fully appreciate the effort and energy involved on our part as we work through it all.
If someone is Autistic, there may well be some other family members who are also neurodivergent (whether those people know it, or not). It doesn't matter whether those people are our age, older, or younger. If there are any other people in your family who simply feel less "hard work" to be around - maybe you can recharge yourself a bit in their company - it really doesn't matter about the activity, or none. Just to "be" in appropriate company is restful. I guess; it is about "connection".
It sounded like you feel your family might have been judging you (for what you could not reasonably have been aware of before), that they are expecting some sort of socially acceptable "fix" to occur (that is not what understanding, accepting and including Autism is about), and that there is a perceived element of conditional future welcome if you are deemed "better" at some stage (know that: you are already perfect - any changes you subsequently choose to explore are: first and foremost; for your benefit and ease).
I feel there is often a period of adjustment needed on both sides when people start to learn about their Autism. We don't know everything we might and not do our relatives and close friends / colleagues. Everyone of quality would want you to be healthy and happy. Anyone who cannot meet that benchmark may need educating and more careful handling via implementing some prudent boundaries. Not harsh "walls" and cutting people off / going "no contact" - but rather; worth seeing if learning to deploy some boundary techniques might help establish a new way forward (family dynamics can be complex things, a bit of trial and error might be necessary!).
For example, I have a relative who had become far, far, too accustomed to trading on my good auspices (aka get me running around doing their errands - irrespective of what was going on in my life at the time). You can imagine the type: only phones you when they want you to do something (doesn't even ask about your life ...just manages to weave into the conversation how you are going to be helpful to that person). Same person: apparently oblivious to the concept of reciprocating when the need was yours for a change. Post-diagnosis: I realised this situation needed a grown-up adjustment. Now, I don't mind, when I have the energy and I am doing something which might also be of use to them - sometimes being helpful. However, endlessly, running around, constantly at their beck and call - only to suit them - ...just not happening anymore (I owe it to myself to do better than that these days).
If I have understood correctly, that you are an Autistic parent - and there is any chance that one or more of your children might be Autistic - you might find this worth bookmarking for future reference (Parent To Parent Emotional Support Service Helpline - "Our focus is on emotional support and understanding what it is like for you as a parent. We offer empathy, understanding, and a safe space to talk through your feelings and experiences"):
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/help-and-support/parent-to-parent-helpline
I am not sure if I have quite captured and responded to your individual situation - hopefully, if nothing else, you might feel a bit more as though other people have experienced some similar situations and that prioritising investing in yourself; can eventually aid some more sustainable "bridge building" with other relatives ...with you carefully retaining the rules and role of "toll keeper" - as you begin to better understand which engagement styles with people best supports you and your household's needs.
