Hello all

Hello all, im Jenny - introducing myself :)

 I was diagnosed with autism in November 2025 and later in life - im in my 40s. Its a relief to finally know and understand challenges ive had all my life with this new lens. I have an 'internalised presentation' though its exhausting to keep it so internal and harder to as I get older! Im keen to let my autism traits break free more -though nervous about this and how it may impact my closest connections. I recently listened to Katherine Mays audio book 'The electricity of every living thing'  and found it a great comfort as I relate to much of her experience. Has anyone else read/ listened to this book?

A bit more about me:

Im a mother to a teen and work as a self-employed gardener (plants are a special interest). I went to art school as a young adult and continue to enjoy creative self expression. Currently; I enjoy creative writing - often writing and reading poetry or creative non-fiction, sometimes fiction. I love music too.

I would most like to connect with other later diagnosed folk - especially mothers and /or creative souls. I dont know any diagnosed autistic women IRL (though one or 2 friends are questioning it) Thank you for reading all this! Looking forward to connecting.

Please say hi Slight smile

Parents
  • Hello.

    I've tried growing lots, I tend to add them till I can barely move, then it gets overcrowded with too many pots and tubs as well, I can't keep up with the watering and reduce them.

    The house is filled with orchids and seedlings in spring.

    I grow lots from seed, e.g. a 10ft crab apple, a metasequoia, a laburnum tree that is too big now, several mahonias, acers, a fir tree. I tried roses from seed too (not really worth the effort) and cuttings. I have a large 12ft tall palm tree

  • Hello Stuart333 

    Thank you for your message - seems you have a lot of fun with plants and yes I always find the watering is what can be hard to maintain and keep up with. When i worked in a garden centre i was always impressed by complex technological kit that people got into for watering - even using an app to control it while on holiday abroad!! I cant really get my head round very techie stuff though so limit how much I have in pots. Like you its gone up and down over the years depending on my capacity to manage it all! Orchids are a real art to care for - im impressed! I once managed the house plant section in the garden centre. Was fun ordering the plants - amazing beings originating from all over the world. I mainly work with organic growing practices in outdoor spaces these days. It really is so wonderful how many ways it is possible to multiply plants - by seed and vegetatively. Its really quite mind blowing when I think of it!  E.g sticking a twig in soil and it may grow roots and then become a shrub /tree ! Its fun to experiment with whats possible.  Is your Metasequoia being grown as a bonsai ? 

  • I guess your organic growing is mostly food crops. I am not so good at them. The pests are a nuisance.

    Things like marrow or courgette and beans are easy though. 

    It took me 3 years to get a  metasequoia seed to germinate. It's in a pot and root bound. It still grows 50cm a year. Being deciduous you can prune it hard into old wood, unlike almost all other conifers. In good soil they are like swamp cypress (Taxodium distichum) and will grow to 30m or more. They grow fast, 1m a year. I would love to plant it but then it will just grow too fast and very hard to keep in bounds.

    I have done cuttings (hard and soft), leaf cuttings, bulbs, corms, layering, seeds, etc . The only thing I haven't done is tried grafting as I can't be bothered to grow the root stock.

    Plant multiplication is easy.

    Seeds are great. You can just take the seeds from tomatoes or peppers/chillis from the supermarket and grow your own. No need to even buy seed packets.

    I am growing a pear tree from seed from a nice one I ate. I think it will take around 7-8 years to fruit. From the leaves it looks like it has reverted to type (Pyrus communis). If so it will be thrown away as the fruit will be small and hard. I only wanted to see what it would do.

    Orchid are mostly about neglect. You do little, but you need to.do it right. Careful observation is needed. The phalaenopsis you normally buy from shops will very often die. You have to take them out of the pot and repot the day you get them if you want to keep them alive. I can tell you how and why if you are interested.

  • Ornamental plants have such variety. Thanks in part to the plant hunters in Victorian and later times.

    Rhododendrons are always popular along with magnolias. 

    I read a book on Joseph D. Hooker and his travels to Antarctica, Himalayas, US. I've wondered  about the Kerguelen cabbage ever since. He was a friend of Darwin and ran Kew for 20 years. 

    In phalaenopsis orchids, and others, the root is the central wire inside the silvery or green cover. It has its own sort of soil inside the cover. The roots don't need to be potted, they wrap around trees in nature and need good air circulation. They soak up water and nutrients  then don't need anything till they go silvery. You can grow them hanging in mid air  long as you spray them often.

  • Yes growing some vegetables organically can be tricky especially F1 varieties.

    I work as a self employed gardener by trade ( for 20 years now). I think i turned my autistic 'safe activity' into my work! I trained in horticulture and then did additional courses to learn about organic growing methods for environmentally conscientious reasons.

    Mostly I care for residential gardens - ornamental plants and so I dont grow as much vegetables these days though have in the past.

    Growing pears or apples from seed will always result in a different plant to the parent - thats why all paticular varieties come from the same parent plant  eg there is only one original Bramley apple and all others are basically from cuttings from that tree or trees from that tree and grafted onto root stock. I expect you know this.  I remember being amazed by that fact when I found out in horticulture school years ago. While you may not get a pear tree with paticularly interesting fruit - you may also discover something uniquely delicious!  Its so satisfying growing anything from seed. Thanks for the kind offer of more information - however, when i ran a house plant area in a garden centre a few years ago - I invited an orchid expert in to give a talk. I have lots of notes from then that I can return to if i decide to care for orchids again.

    Did you know orchids often hang 'upside down' in cracks of tree branches in the wild - you can buy pots that can be hung from the ceiling to simulate this!   

Reply
  • Yes growing some vegetables organically can be tricky especially F1 varieties.

    I work as a self employed gardener by trade ( for 20 years now). I think i turned my autistic 'safe activity' into my work! I trained in horticulture and then did additional courses to learn about organic growing methods for environmentally conscientious reasons.

    Mostly I care for residential gardens - ornamental plants and so I dont grow as much vegetables these days though have in the past.

    Growing pears or apples from seed will always result in a different plant to the parent - thats why all paticular varieties come from the same parent plant  eg there is only one original Bramley apple and all others are basically from cuttings from that tree or trees from that tree and grafted onto root stock. I expect you know this.  I remember being amazed by that fact when I found out in horticulture school years ago. While you may not get a pear tree with paticularly interesting fruit - you may also discover something uniquely delicious!  Its so satisfying growing anything from seed. Thanks for the kind offer of more information - however, when i ran a house plant area in a garden centre a few years ago - I invited an orchid expert in to give a talk. I have lots of notes from then that I can return to if i decide to care for orchids again.

    Did you know orchids often hang 'upside down' in cracks of tree branches in the wild - you can buy pots that can be hung from the ceiling to simulate this!   

Children
  • Ornamental plants have such variety. Thanks in part to the plant hunters in Victorian and later times.

    Rhododendrons are always popular along with magnolias. 

    I read a book on Joseph D. Hooker and his travels to Antarctica, Himalayas, US. I've wondered  about the Kerguelen cabbage ever since. He was a friend of Darwin and ran Kew for 20 years. 

    In phalaenopsis orchids, and others, the root is the central wire inside the silvery or green cover. It has its own sort of soil inside the cover. The roots don't need to be potted, they wrap around trees in nature and need good air circulation. They soak up water and nutrients  then don't need anything till they go silvery. You can grow them hanging in mid air  long as you spray them often.