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Skill Regression (Vent)

Glizbeth

I honestly thought skill regression wouldn't be that bad but omg. I can't do like 70% of the things I used to be able to do and now it's hitting me like a truck. Mind you I only got formally diagnosed in May this year.

Like I managed to get my HNC in Mechanical Engineering but I'm struggling to do my stuff done for my HND. And I'm considering to drop out of the course, not because it's hard. I'm just disengaged by the level of the course. (Not meeting my academic curiosity essentially.) This has been a thing for me since secondary school but it's only gotten worst.
I'll probably mention this to my guidance lecturer the next time I see them. Struggling over something I know I can do but just can't for some arbitrary reason it. (I know there might be a term for this but I don't know it.)

I also have an HND in Software Development but I didn't see myself doing this at all. It was more like an interest I indulged in because I was curious at the time. I'm feeling sooo stupid because it takes me like three times as long to complete things in comparison to my peers and it's still hard for me to come to terms with this as an autistic woman.
The only thing I've learned from my time studying in the UK is how much I can pick up on my own.
I've been crashing out over a project thing one of my lecturers gave me because of the vagueness of it and the lack of basic parameters I need to start something.
(Look I can deal with vagueness at times but figuring EVERY SINGLE ASPECT is a hard ask of me. I legit had a month to do this but have been stalling and stalling because I had no idea where to start. I got an extension for it but even then I'm still struggling.)

Been also struggling with the thought of even seeking out employment (farming that unemployment stat since December 2024) because every experience has been too stressful for me in different ways. And what pisses me off the most is that I probably have good skills but either can't sell myself well (ew marketing) or understand where the hell to look for jobs that I can do. On that note the thought of doubling down and making something out of my art for money on the side has been plaguing me mind. (I have issues with committing to this idea.)
Not to mention the struggle I have to just give in and be myself online. I don't know why I feel this invisible pressure to not be too vocal about my personality and my values. (*cough* Cancel culture *cough* Hell, you could even pin it on the UK's current politics.)

Every time I try to fix something in my life something else jumps out at me. Can't I get some peace man??? (Paradoxically this has been the calmest I've been since forever.) Love that my priority is now addressing my ongoing health problem instead of college. Ugh, at this point I'd just be content with money to live and I might even just stay in the UK or even move back home to Spain if I get enough money to live and sustain myself.

I'm tired of this...

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  • Glizbeth said:
    I'm just disengaged by the level of the course. (Not meeting my academic curiosity essentially.)

    It can be incredibly hard to continue with a full time role like this when you have no interest. It isn't as it if even pays a wage to make it worthwhile.

    I was like this in my last year at uni and it was incredibly hard to find the motivation to even go to lectures nevermind study when there were so many other interesting things to do in life.. 

    In the end I did just enough to graduate and left to get a full time job that gave me the free time to enjoy myself.

    Glizbeth said:
    I've been crashing out over a project thing one of my lecturers gave me because of the vagueness of it and the lack of basic parameters I need to start something.

    My approach to this would be to write to them, ask them to define the parameters, breaking it down section by section.

    This may actually by a part of the task to make you avoid assumptions. If they come back and say the info isn't available but you still have to do the task them make your own assumptions, define them right at the start of the project report and point out that the paramertes were not given even with repeated requests so you made the following assumptions at the risk of the requester.

    Since you now have the assumptions you need - get on and complete the project. Don't waste energy on thinking further as you have done the due diligence and made the appropriate caveats in the report.

    Glizbeth said:
    Been also struggling with the thought of even seeking out employment

    Save this effort for when you are out of the pressure of delivering the work currently underway.

    I would set aside betweeen 2 to 8 hours every day to work on my CV and portfolio to build it as it stands, look at others who seem to have a good CV and work out how to get yourself to that sort of level of achievement if practical. 

    I would split my time between researching what others have in their LinkedIn profiles and working on my own projects.

    Then I would try to list the potential employers, write to them to ask how you can see the vacancies in their company and how to apply. 

    When you have a day free then I would make it effectively a working day where I developed my skills and portfolio.

    Maybe contact some charities to see if they need help on any projects and give them the work for free just to get experience and the CV entry.

    Finding a job in a field that AI is fast repacing is going to be tough so good luck out there.

Reply
  • Glizbeth said:
    I'm just disengaged by the level of the course. (Not meeting my academic curiosity essentially.)

    It can be incredibly hard to continue with a full time role like this when you have no interest. It isn't as it if even pays a wage to make it worthwhile.

    I was like this in my last year at uni and it was incredibly hard to find the motivation to even go to lectures nevermind study when there were so many other interesting things to do in life.. 

    In the end I did just enough to graduate and left to get a full time job that gave me the free time to enjoy myself.

    Glizbeth said:
    I've been crashing out over a project thing one of my lecturers gave me because of the vagueness of it and the lack of basic parameters I need to start something.

    My approach to this would be to write to them, ask them to define the parameters, breaking it down section by section.

    This may actually by a part of the task to make you avoid assumptions. If they come back and say the info isn't available but you still have to do the task them make your own assumptions, define them right at the start of the project report and point out that the paramertes were not given even with repeated requests so you made the following assumptions at the risk of the requester.

    Since you now have the assumptions you need - get on and complete the project. Don't waste energy on thinking further as you have done the due diligence and made the appropriate caveats in the report.

    Glizbeth said:
    Been also struggling with the thought of even seeking out employment

    Save this effort for when you are out of the pressure of delivering the work currently underway.

    I would set aside betweeen 2 to 8 hours every day to work on my CV and portfolio to build it as it stands, look at others who seem to have a good CV and work out how to get yourself to that sort of level of achievement if practical. 

    I would split my time between researching what others have in their LinkedIn profiles and working on my own projects.

    Then I would try to list the potential employers, write to them to ask how you can see the vacancies in their company and how to apply. 

    When you have a day free then I would make it effectively a working day where I developed my skills and portfolio.

    Maybe contact some charities to see if they need help on any projects and give them the work for free just to get experience and the CV entry.

    Finding a job in a field that AI is fast repacing is going to be tough so good luck out there.

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