Is it okay to feel emotional attachment to fictional characters?

Yes I completely understand that! I get that too, sometimes I struggle to continue watching shows it takes me a bit of time to get over it! First time on a chat like this. Thank you for sharing :) 

It doesn’t sound weird. I get that too. I do try to limit the amount I read properly immersive books like fantasy ect because I know I will feel the same. My post specifically here is about my crushes on characters but I do get the same way. The excitement, the thrill, the way they get a happy ending all the time… it makes me feel quite despondent with my own life. Which, don’t get me wrong, is wonderful. But it’s boring and predictable. Because of course it is - I don’t have magical powers. I’m not a werewolf or a vampire or whatever. It really is upsetting so thank you so much for sharing that you feel the same way. 

When Glenn died on The Walking Dead, I fully grieved for a good week or so? I’m still upset about it now and have not finished the episode when it happened. I just skipped past it. I’m glad this thread has helped you to feel less alone :)

You are not alone in this.  I feel the exact same except with the actually fantasy world.  I get so obsessed with wanting to be in that world that it can depress me and as weird as it sounds making my heart hurt that I’m not there? I feel like that is so hard to explain to people.  I feel it with TV characters when they die. I feel kind of broken and feel angry that they are no longer there? I tried to avoid reading the books I get too obsessed with for how it made me feel for a while but everyone I go back to the book I get the intense feeling again. Sometimes I find it uncomfortable because it makes me feel in such emotional pain. 

It made me feel so alone in this, I always wondered why others around me don’t feel the same intense emotion as I do with this? I love being able to hear everyone else’s stories regarding this. 

It’s like you are in my head . The worst one for me though is when they say omg just be yourself we won’t judge you. And then I go on and on about something (like my post here, my fictional crushes or whatever, or my love of comic cons) and they’ll make little comments like ‘you’re obsessed!’ But in like a derogatory way? And they don’t realise what they said is upsetting but man it plays on my mind. Yknow? 

Exactly! I never feel i can be myself around most regular people as I'll bore or annoy them getting too hyper over my special interests and only going on about them. So just keep quiet. But then people get offended thinking I'm being rude so I can't win. 

I understand that! I often think the same too. I don’t have a lot of friends, which is maybe my own fault, but as soon as I start to really be myself around people, they tend to get annoyed and then I go back in my shell and separate myself. So I understand wanting those friendships too. 

Thank you. Always happy for more replies :)

There's plenty of replies on here that I'd pretty much echo too.

I think, just to add, autistic fantasy thought (I think that's what it's normally called) Is a very vivid and powerful thing, couple that with the image of someone you feel is ideal for you, along with the fact that in your fantasy they'll always be exactly what you want and not ever let you down or hurt you, you're natural strong  autistic attraction to the feelings of safety and happiness will make you want to stay in that fantasy.

And if you ain't hurting anyone then why not? I wouldn't worry about it, as long as it's not causing any major problems.

I connect more with fictional characters than I do real people. I get more invested in fictional characters and franchises than I do the real work most of the time. Every month or so I have a new special interest I get hyper focused on. Usually a rotation every few years. In summer 2022 it was Stranger Things. I felt more connection with the group of friends in that show than I ever really have with people in the real world sadly. Maybe that's why I get so emotionally invested. Same at the moment with Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous/Chaos Theory. I wish I could make connections the way the characters in these shows do with each other. 

I think that’s a good point! The story would have to be really compelling for me to continue if I didn’t like the characters. Whereas I will often read anyway if I liked the characters but the story was a bit ‘meh’

100%. Always for me tends to be the love interests though, lol. If the main character is falling in love, then so am I

I think that an emotional connection with characters in fiction is necessary for me to enjoy it. I have never managed to make that connection with any of Thomas Hardy's characters. Reading the Mayor of Casterbridge, I realised that I did not care if any character, or all the characters, died on the next page. I stopped reading at that point. I tried some of his short stories, hoping that the format might help make a connection more quickly, but no, nothing.

I think a lot of fictional people are nicer than real people, I wish I could find people like that in real life. I know I'd get on really well with Ruth Galloway from the Ellie Griffiths books and Merilly Watkins from Phil Rickmans books and I'd love to meet the residents of Three Pines, from Louise Penny's books.

To add as well, if you ever want to talk and gush about your fave fictional characters, then I am always happy. Maybe it’s purely selfish because it makes me feel less crazy knowing someone else is the same as me lol but also I know how much I struggle having no one who understands to talk to about it so happy to offer that to you :) 

No please don’t apologise. That’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much 

You’re not alone, this happens to me too, and a lot of other people are the exact same. I think it’s a lot more common than you here about TBH. I think because of my Autism I hyperfixate on almost everything, and become completely absorbed in things when I am interested in them – usually happens most with my special interests such as animals – and happens whenever I read a book or watch something. I get so used to some of the characters that they become “real” in a sense and then I find myself looking up their Wiki pages as I try to learn more about them. If they become injured or killed in the story then it becomes hard for me, A, because I was attached to the character and, B, because they’re no longer in the story or film and I was used to them being part of it.

It sounds a little strange but I think it’s normal. Most people do it, and when you are Autistic I think because of our hyperfixating we become that bit more attached. I also have a very good imagination and am able to really picture characters in books, this works against me as and when something bad happens to a character I like.

Sorry this was longer than I intended it to be. I just wanted to explain so hopefully you don’t feel so alone in having attachments to fictional characters.

that's definitely reassuring. I guess I just wish I could accept it as fine and not try and fight it and get myself in such a state over it.

A survey, that I sadly can't post here, revealed that 50-60% of people have experienced limmerence. It can be with real people or fictional characters. 

I have heard about limerence. Haven't done an awful lot of reading into it though. It makes me feel a lot better knowing other people experience it, but also that there is a way to work on it. Thank you!

It happens to me too! Not often though. Don't worry too much. It's called limmerence. You can find information online about it. It's just a way to escape reality. If you want, there are ways to stop this. A therapist can help you.