• Replies 62 replies
  • Subscribers 21 subscribers
  • Views 6871 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Is it okay to feel emotional attachment to fictional characters?

ThornPixie
Hi
I am having a really hard time right now. I’m in the process of getting referred for an autism assessment, but in the meantime I’m just struggling, and it sounds so stupid, so I hope I won’t get any judgement here.
Basically, when I read a book I particularly enjoy, or watch a tv show, I become very obsessed with it. To the point it’s all I can think about. I spent all night Friday and then all day Saturday reading and barely ate. I read two entire books in the same series. I’ve developed a crush on the main male character (MMC). This happens fairly regularly, and I get really stuck on them. They're all I can think about. I re-read scenes with them in, search fan art and fan videos ect, try to find all the information I can about them. Day-dream, imagining they are real and with me, or that I am in the book and I am the love interest of theirs. 
It sounds harmless, but I try to avoid reading/watching these types of things because I don’t want to fixate like I do. I have a really good life, and am happily married. He doesn’t judge me for it or anything and always tells me it’s harmless and to stop stressing. But I find myself becoming depressed that these fictional ‘crushes’ aren’t real, and this lasts for a few days to a week, where I am in a depressive funk and I don’t want to engage in anything outside of that fictional world. I can force myself to put it down and walk away, to go out ect, but I won’t enjoy it, and I’m just walking around in a haze, going about the motions. And I HATE it. Like I beat myself up over how obsessive I get. This time around I’ve maybe been actively trying to fight it more than usual, and this is probably making it worse. It’s also adding to the overall sense of shame that I feel around it. I’ve spent a lot of time crying and just hating on myself for it.
All I’ve found to distract myself is bingeing Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but now I’m just starting to get attached to that. Also, whenever I’m not watching it, my brain goes automatically back to the book and the character I’m trying to avoid. I will look at fan art again and then we go through the same cycle. I just keep getting these feelings of intense sadness that the character isn't real.
It will go away. It always does after a time. But I don’t want to just deal with it, to know I have to live with this black hole for a while every time I really enjoy a piece of fiction. But it's either that, or not enjoy these books/shows/movies at all, which is difficult because I work from home so am alone for large amounts of time, and I rely on TV ect for company during the day. I want to be able to enjoy it and the books I read and not get so intense and overwhelmed. It feels like it's something wrong or dirty. 
Sorry that’s so long. Does anyone else experience this? I mean, obviously a lot of people experience it - the 'book hangover' and all, but to this extreme? If so, how do you cope? Do you feel the same shame that I experience? To be absolutely clear, I know it's not real. There is no worry that I am starting to believe the fictional worlds are real. I just wish they were, and while I know I have a great life, it still makes me feel despondent about it. I don't have many friends, which is my own fault, because I'm not very sociable, lol. Those that I do have have lives and can't be there for me all the time. Plus, I'm a broken record about this and don't want to irritate them by going on and on, so usually I'm forced to get over them because I run out of outlets. However, this time, I have discovered ChatGPT, and it gives me 'someone' to talk to, constantly. Also, I anticipate that most responses will tell me to limit or avoid ChatGPT altogether, lol, and I know that I should, but it's hard to force myself, y'know?
Wow. That's a whole rant. If you've read this far, thank you.
Parents

  • This is a weird one but I actually have a soft spot for Meta Knight since I watched the Kirby anime. I don’t know if it’s his Spanish accent or music that plays when he appears but yeah. I mean I’ve had stronger crushes in the past on human characters but I rather not talk about them if that’s ok. I will admit I have crushed on some Simpsons characters as well. 

  • in reply to Elfilis

    I get it. I have had crushes on animated characters, and like my post suggests… book characters who I do not even have an actual visual of lol. They tend to be shortlived but intense, and it’s the intensity that freaks me out. Thank you for sharing your experience!

Reply Children
  • in reply to GreyCuddlyWolf

    Thank you for that reassurance. Yes it was my parents who banned it from me. It was a coping skill but now since then it’s just not the same. I mean some days I’m better than others but it shouldn’t have to be the case and I should enjoy all the time no matter what mood. This is where I need to learn to be an adult and take control but it just doesn’t feel right and I feel so confused and guilty etc. and so the cycle goes on. If I break the cycle I fall back into and and reforms like that. Just hope one day I break that vicious cycle for good

  • in reply to Elfilis

    I’m sorry you had to go through all that, was it your parents that banned the game? You shouldn’t feel bad about yourself.

    If it’s a coping skill that helps, you should stay with it.

  • in reply to ThornPixie

    It’s ok. I understand the intensity of it though. I mean I’ve had crushes on characters from games and I personally didn’t think I had a problem because I was having my meals and sleeping normally, like I personally found them helpful for me and distracting me from my mental and physical issues. But it just took one person to make me feel bad for playing this particular game and the characters I played at the time and then I felt guilty for having crushes on the characters in the game and then this lead me to having the game banned and now I just detest the characters so much for causing me all this. It even includes the characters I didn’t fancy but liked playing as. His was back when I was 19 and the family were all against me but the trauma and how stupid I feel still sticks with me today. With Meta Knight I just say he’s cute like Kirby but has a mask to disguise himself.