Challenge of getting a diagnosis for my daughter when she masks so well when she is not at home...

Hi all, seeking advice please, particularly from UK based parents/carers perhaps going through a similar process. For those of you with undiagnosed autistic children, especially daughters, who mask so well at school yet all the behaviours are present at home, have you managed to receive a diagnosis? Even pursuing a private assessment is proving difficult as school say there are no difficulties/differences present and assessment requires behaviours observed in multiple settings. I feel like we are just going round in circles and fighting a losing battle. I'm seeking a diagnosis for my daughter so she can hopefully understand herself better. I have researched a lot about autism in girls and women and so many accounts of women getting diagnosed later in life state how they wish they had been diagnosed sooner, as it would have helped them to know why they found certain things in life difficult or why they experienced certain things differently. Thanks in advance.

Parents
  • Hi, I am sorry to hear about your difficulties. My son was diagnosed at 4 years old, and had a lot of help when he was at infant school, but unfortunately the level of support available decreased as he got older. By the time he got to High school, he looked like he was managing without it most of the time. But at home, where he could safely let the "mask" drop, his behaviour was very different.

    I agree with Martin that you could record evidence of autistic behaviour at home and keep a diary. The school doesn't sound very helpful overall, but do all of her teachers think the same? Also, just a thought, are there any other settings which your daughter regularly attends, other than school, where she might not mask as much?

Reply
  • Hi, I am sorry to hear about your difficulties. My son was diagnosed at 4 years old, and had a lot of help when he was at infant school, but unfortunately the level of support available decreased as he got older. By the time he got to High school, he looked like he was managing without it most of the time. But at home, where he could safely let the "mask" drop, his behaviour was very different.

    I agree with Martin that you could record evidence of autistic behaviour at home and keep a diary. The school doesn't sound very helpful overall, but do all of her teachers think the same? Also, just a thought, are there any other settings which your daughter regularly attends, other than school, where she might not mask as much?

Children
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