Hi
I wondered if any autistic mums here could share some tips and advice for dealing with their own sensory overload whilst parenting. All the information I can find online is about helping autistic children as a parent but not how to help yourself if you as an autistic parent are struggling. I'm terrified my daughter is also autistic and I won't be able to help her properly because I'm struggling to regulate myself so any tips from anyone would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks!
this makes so much sense - you’re not alone. I don’t have the answers but I can relate to feeling sensory overload and overwhelm. I feel like my regulation and kids regulation are connected really closely - managing masking is something I’ve been thinking about recently.
i remember a phase when my kids would clamber all over me like I was a climbing frame - deep breaths…that was horrorendous!
I guess If you’re daughters autistic (mine may be) it’s an incentive to sort our relationship to autism out , trust it’s ok for it to be a rocky road? And that you’ll find your equilibrium and she can learn from your perspectives and experience?
I'm really struggling. My son has been diagnosed with a few things. Life has been really difficult and whilst struggling with him I realised I probably had Autism. Pushed for a diagnosis through my gp a few yrs ago n was diagnosed with Autism. I think I have, however got the same as my son - Autism with pda profile, & adhd.
I had a job which I enjoyed even though I had to mask big time at. At times it could be really stressful and on top of dealing with my sons meltdowns, being constantly called out of work to deal with him, trying to overcome a car accident where a drunk driver had smashed info us - i slipped up at work and impulsively repeatedly a swear word without thinking what I'd said. Anyway, things fell through with my work because of everything.
I have slowly been spiralling out of control. But as a mum, I have to put the needs of my husband and children before my own.
I have struggled to get my son diagnosed and get him the right support at school. He has been out of class for 2 yrs and because of his meltdowns the school have excluded him twice and keep him away from other children so they don't have to phone parents if anything happens. So I now don't have a good relationship with the school because I fear they're doing more damage to his mental health by keeping him away from other children.
Now my daughter, whom I already suspect has adhd, has started having massive meltdowns and I am really struggling.
I dont want to even put myself through the stress of applying for adp because I was working so they'll say I can hold down a job. I am on supply and had done a wee 6 month job just 2 days a week but I really struggled to mask for those days. I was ill with anxiety. I cannot trust myself not to say the wrong thing.
I dont want to leave the house, I don't want to bump into anyone I know, I don't want to be me anymore. I'm fed up struggling just to get through a day n no one gets it.
How can you stay calm to help you're child regulate their emotions when you can't cope with the noise of them screaming, when they're swearing at you, physically attacking you which really hurts.
I just want to let myself shutdown but I can't. I have to care for my husband, I have to care for my kids - i have no choice. I have my .meltdown but then I need to try to get over it n get on with things. It is so hard n I wish I could just be normal. I hate being me. I hate this constant struggle n battle with people.
I'm really struggling. My son has been diagnosed with a few things. Life has been really difficult and whilst struggling with him I realised I probably had Autism. Pushed for a diagnosis through my gp a few yrs ago n was diagnosed with Autism. I think I have, however got the same as my son - Autism with pda profile, & adhd.
I had a job which I enjoyed even though I had to mask big time at. At times it could be really stressful and on top of dealing with my sons meltdowns, being constantly called out of work to deal with him, trying to overcome a car accident where a drunk driver had smashed info us - i slipped up at work and impulsively repeatedly a swear word without thinking what I'd said. Anyway, things fell through with my work because of everything.
I have slowly been spiralling out of control. But as a mum, I have to put the needs of my husband and children before my own.
I have struggled to get my son diagnosed and get him the right support at school. He has been out of class for 2 yrs and because of his meltdowns the school have excluded him twice and keep him away from other children so they don't have to phone parents if anything happens. So I now don't have a good relationship with the school because I fear they're doing more damage to his mental health by keeping him away from other children.
Now my daughter, whom I already suspect has adhd, has started having massive meltdowns and I am really struggling.
I dont want to even put myself through the stress of applying for adp because I was working so they'll say I can hold down a job. I am on supply and had done a wee 6 month job just 2 days a week but I really struggled to mask for those days. I was ill with anxiety. I cannot trust myself not to say the wrong thing.
I dont want to leave the house, I don't want to bump into anyone I know, I don't want to be me anymore. I'm fed up struggling just to get through a day n no one gets it.
How can you stay calm to help you're child regulate their emotions when you can't cope with the noise of them screaming, when they're swearing at you, physically attacking you which really hurts.
I just want to let myself shutdown but I can't. I have to care for my husband, I have to care for my kids - i have no choice. I have my .meltdown but then I need to try to get over it n get on with things. It is so hard n I wish I could just be normal. I hate being me. I hate this constant struggle n battle with people.
Hi. I just wanted to say I can identify with some of your difficulties. I too only realized I was autistic when my son was diagnosed.
I also suspect from what you say that when more than one difficulty happens at a time, it becomes a lot more unmanageable. Those are the times that cause my meltdowns. It is so hard at times to keep going and when others don't understand. I hope you are able to use some of the links others have provided to make contact with others who get it.
The thing that has helped me is support from my husband. I wonder if when he is around you can take yourself out of a situation, or go for a walk. This is something that has helped me.
Hi NAS95177 , I am sorry you’re going through such a difficult time. You may find it useful to look at our page on mental health, which has useful links to a range of issues: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health.
We also offer a Parent to Parent Emotional Support Service. It provides emotional support to parents and carers, with a focus on emotional support and understanding what it is like for you as a parent. You can find more information about it here: www.autism.org.uk/.../parent-to-parent-helpline.
Best wishes,
Anna Mod
