Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm 16 and was recently diagnosed with autism having prevsoily been diagnosed with dyslexia and dyspraxia at 5. My mum has had suspicions since 6/7. Anyways, I've recently started sixth form and I've made zero friends making me feel isolated and unlovable. At my previous school I had a great group of friends but the enviromoent to make friends here t isn't rly compatible with my sensory needs. this has only added to my feelings of being behind in life- no first kiss, *** at make-up, no parties or anything else associated with the typical teenage experience such as reading festival. While I'm aware that those activates would be painful and a sensory overload I still feel left out and falling behind. Can anyone else relate?
I just wanted to say that I remember those days too. I'm 41 now, but I clearly remember when I started university feeling the same as you do - before then I had a reasonably stable lifestyle, then suddenly I was on my own in a brand new environment and felt completely lost. What I also wanted to say was that I can understand the peer pressure you might be feeling, but please don't feel you need to match it. I learned only last year that I don't need to match what other people are doing to feel good about myself. I also thought that to "fit in" I would need to meet lots of people, drink alcohol, go out in the evenings, etc. The problem is I enjoyed none of that - I just wanted 1 or 2 close friends and to do things at my own pace doing the things I enjoyed, not what I felt I had to do.
You said you had a group of friends before you started sixth form, are you still in contact with them? Making new friends is hard (though not impossible) and will probably take longer than you think, so in the meantime if you were able to stay in contact with your existing friends you might feel better. It won't be exactly the same, but don't underestimate how important existing friendships are.