Help for my newly diagnosed 8 year old daughter

Hi, forgive me if I get the terms wrong. 

My 8 year has been recently diagnosed as autistic (and we're exploring adhd as she can get very distracted in school). 

It came as a bit of a shock as I was exploring help for her anxiety and didn't realise Autism can present differently in girls. But it makes sense now.

Is there anyone else in a similar position (with a daughter her age or roughly) who can share any advice on what to do next.

I've told the school who have said they will keep an eye but have said she doesn't need an EHCP plan as is coping okay.

But I think I would like to find someone for her to talk to about her feelings (would this be an educational psychologist?? is that the right term) 

And also someone who can help her navigate the tricky world of friendships in school. She has friends but we're already seeing the girls move away from her as they don't quite understand her and she doesn't always answer in the way they expect her to. This can lead to her feeling a little isolated. 

I've had a look online for some local groups where I can chat with other mums/dads of girls but can't find anything.  

Thanks in advance

  • hi nas96165, i hope some things have started appearing for you, in terms of local groups - its different in each County but in the West Midlands I have found a group for parents (for my Mum) at the local Mind, also there is a charity which focuses on supporting women and girls. 

    It can take a bit of searching, but depending on how open the place your child was assessed is, they may be able to sign post to particular services. 

    You may be able to find online peer support for your self or counselling for your daughter if in person is tricky to locate. There are some guidelines (I think on this website) about the kinds of therapy that is NOT suitable / to avoid for Autistic folks. 

    This is just based on routes I have taken, if you can find yourself some parent friends to chat to, it might help you build a wee community for yourself and your daughter. 

    One thing I have understood from hearing parents speak about their experience with teachers is to trust your instinct, if teachers say she is coping in school, but she comes home and has meltdowns, or uses the bathroom to have a place to cry during the school day for example, its likely in that example she is great at masking her overwhelm, and so if you think she is not coping hold your position on that when asking school for further support or an EHCP plan. - I am not a parent, so that's just my view from meeting parents at Autism groups.

    Best wishes 

  • Hello NAS96165,

    Welcome to the community.

    You may find the following page about 'after diagnosis' on our website useful: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/post-diagnosis-support 

    The NAS website also has a directory where you can enter your location and find groups nearby.

    All the best,

    Karin