Seeking Assessment due to Perimenopause Experiences

I'm 52 and currently undergoing an extremely traumatic perimenopause. I had pretty much accepted that I have always been autistic and experienced adhd, but never felt any inclination to have an official diagnosis. However changes in hormonal activity have thrown me into a spiral of chaos and despair - all my coping mechanisms have disintegrated and I find myself overwhelmed, desperate and suicidal. Lots of the drug treatments my GP has provided are entirely unsuitable for me and in fact, make matters worse -  SSRI's and SNRI's in particular. HRT also seems generally ineffective, synthetic progesterone has a terrifying effect on me, despite this I was prescribed continuous Norethisterone patches - I did express opposition to this, citing past experience, but was made to feel I wasn't commiting to getting better if I didn't "give it a try" Needless to say, I had a very bad physical and mental reaction and am stopping all HRT

My own research suggests that autistic people living through menopause have generally similar experiences to my own, so I asked my GP if I could start the process for ASD assessment, as I felt this might lead to a more considered and appropriate treatment of my menopause. I realise the waiting list is long and it might be too late for this, but thought it was a positive step. My GP dismissed my request immediately - stating I was "not well enough" to undergo the process. 

I've read of a few people gaining a diagnosis as a result of experiences in menopause/perimenopause and wondered how they negotiated this process? I don't have the funds to seek a private assessment, especially as I feel my combined adhd/asd means there's a risk I may not come away from the process with a positive diagnosis. 

Would be very interested to read of other's experience in this area