Parents don't accept my possible diagnosis.

I’m really sorry to hear about your parents reaction. My mum is supportive (she is probably autistic too) but my dad doesn’t get it at all. He said I was ruining life by seeking a diagnosis and by not pushing myself more to socialise. He said it is all completely normal because he had to teach himself scripts for conversations and push himself too. He essentially dismisses the idea of autism and got really angry when I mentioned it- he thinks it is an excuse. It’s sad but with my dad the only way around it is to not mention anything autism related to him- he will never understand because he doesn’t want to. I didn’t grow up with him and we only talk on phone so it is easier to avoid topic. My stepfather is also somewhat dismissive but it hurts more because he seems to be supportive and will listen but every time i mention an autistic trait he goes ´yes but… couldn’t there be another explanation and then goes on to blame my mum’s parenting for all my autistic traits. Plus i get comments like ‘you are intelligent, i’m sure if you made an effort for a few days and paid attention to other people’s conversations you could figure it out… ‘. It is more difficult with my stepfather as i thought he was trying to understand but it doesn’t seem to be the case. I haven’t completely given up on him- i hope there is scope for me to share and educate him about autism but it is upsetting and emotionally exhausting.

Do you live with parents ? ( i know you said you are at uni) Don’t let yourself be put off from seeking a diagnosis. Do you think your parents might be more accepting once you have a formal diagnosis? (Mine weren’t but it sounds like dad objects to the qualifications of uni lecturer in bringing up the possibility). I think it depends on how you think the chances stand with your parents- if there is no hope for them to understand , not mentioning it might save you from some upset. But maybe there is scope for them to understand more and more. What helps sometimes is to not mention being autistic per se initially but stating some of traits - like ‘i find noisy environments overwhelming’ etc. People can often relate more to traits and they often have misconceptions about autism. Also eventually you might want to share some books about autistic experience with your parents if they are open to that- it might help.

I’m really sorry to hear about your parents reaction. My mum is supportive (she is probably autistic too) but my dad doesn’t get it at all. He said I was ruining life by seeking a diagnosis and by not pushing myself more to socialise. He said it is all completely normal because he had to teach himself scripts for conversations and push himself too. He essentially dismisses the idea of autism and got really angry when I mentioned it- he thinks it is an excuse. It’s sad but with my dad the only way around it is to not mention anything autism related to him- he will never understand because he doesn’t want to. I didn’t grow up with him and we only talk on phone so it is easier to avoid topic. My stepfather is also somewhat dismissive but it hurts more because he seems to be supportive and will listen but every time i mention an autistic trait he goes ´yes but… couldn’t there be another explanation and then goes on to blame my mum’s parenting for all my autistic traits. Plus i get comments like ‘you are intelligent, i’m sure if you made an effort for a few days and paid attention to other people’s conversations you could figure it out… ‘. It is more difficult with my stepfather as i thought he was trying to understand but it doesn’t seem to be the case. I haven’t completely given up on him- i hope there is scope for me to share and educate him about autism but it is upsetting and emotionally exhausting.

Do you live with parents ? ( i know you said you are at uni) Don’t let yourself be put off from seeking a diagnosis. Do you think your parents might be more accepting once you have a formal diagnosis? (Mine weren’t but it sounds like dad objects to the qualifications of uni lecturer in bringing up the possibility). I think it depends on how you think the chances stand with your parents- if there is no hope for them to understand , not mentioning it might save you from some upset. But maybe there is scope for them to understand more and more. What helps sometimes is to not mention being autistic per se initially but stating some of traits - like ‘i find noisy environments overwhelming’ etc. People can often relate more to traits and they often have misconceptions about autism. Also eventually you might want to share some books about autistic experience with your parents if they are open to that- it might help.