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Don’t meet the criteria for face to face assessment

Daisy

Hi! I’m a 29 y/o female and within the past year or so have been questioning whether or not I might be autistic. I’ve had difficulties throughout my life which have always been put down to either just my “sensitive” and “anxious” personality, or as I got older, poor mental health. 
The more I researched autism and how it presents in women, and the more I read about women and girls’ lives experiences, the more I was able to relate.

I completed the relevant forms for assessment but was told that while I would be deemed to have scored “high” enough to warrant a face to face assessment in one area, I wasn’t within the threshold for the empathy questionnaire, or the relative questionnaire, which my mum filled in. I feel as though my mum may have missed a lot because she thought it was just my personality, and also doesn’t like to think that I could be autistic as it reflects badly on her as a parent, and I do feel as though I’m highly empathetic, but didn’t think that meant I couldn’t also be autistic. 

Has anyone else had any similar experiences, and did you challenge this or seek a second opinion?

Thanks in advance for any replies!

  • Hi, I had similar problem with the parental part, in the end I sent the forms back without the parental part filled in. I just explained that there wasn’t a suitable parent and my own memory goes back to a very young age.

    Daisy said:
    . I feel as though my mum may have missed a lot because she thought it was just my personality, and also doesn’t like to think that I could be autistic as it reflects badly on her as a parent,

    That’s really common, the parent often thinks their parenting skills are being attacked, they don’t accept their child could be different. You are telling them you aren’t the person they think they know.

    Empathy is something we can learn as we get older, autistic people often watch others and learn, “this is the response they expect.” It’s all part of how autistic people ‘mask’, it’s how we get by and try to act like others. Autistic people can feel empathy, we’re not robots.

    I’m not an expert on female presentation, women can become masters at masking. If I was you, I would look for an assessment centre that specialises in female presentation. The Lorna Wing Centre is often mentioned here. Maybe do a post asking about Female diagnosis and other peoples experiences.
    Good luck and don’t give up.