Daughter suspected Asd

Thankyou so much for your reply, trousers is a deffo no she really does not like them at all,she would rather have no clothes on to be honest,have reward charts in place for bathing teeth brushing ect, tryed many toothpastes all the same to her, thanks again

I had many of the same issues when I was a child. Things WILL get better over time.

Here's a picture of me aged 4:

Hasn't said a word, ever. Wont move on from using a potty. Won't eat school dinner, has to have a certain brand of bread for school lunch and only that brand. Ignores the teacher unless specifically spoken to. Spits out hayfever medicine, won't brush teeth. Bath times are a nightmare.

Here's a picture of me in present day:

Fully verbal, in fact very. Eats all sorts, curries, pasta, fish, shellfish, when I went to Japan I loved how the food was so different to home and tried all sorts of things that were totally unfamiliar to home. A better question is what won't I eat! (Not much - I still can't eat Mashed potato, tuna and any kind of carbonated soft drink because of sensory things. So I have quirks, but I've been described as the most adventurous palate in my family!) 

Definitely doesn't ignore the teacher anymore. I went to mainstream school, I got straight As and I'm going to university to study Biology this September!

Hayfever medicine was a breeze once I was old enough for tablets. They're flavourless, perfect!

Brushes teeth and has no fillings.

Baths and showers like anyone else. 

I hope that's a comfort for you. With the right support your girl will thrive. There will be things like my inability to eat Mashed potato that persist into adulthood, but I promise you things will get better over time.

In the short term, for toileting problems ask for a referral to an occupational therapist. They might be able to help with the food issues too.

And for the problem with tights, why not try trousers? Maybe it's the feeling of material being too close to her skin that she doesn't like, and trousers are more airy so might be better for her.

Maybe with tooth brushing if you've tried non flavoured ones and very bland minty flavour (for me it was 'kids flavours' like strawberry that I couldn't stand) you could try rewarding her after toothbrushing? Like more screen time? Or even get a dinosaur toothbrush to involve her special interest if that might work?

Hiya thanks for your reply, tryed turning them inside out she still cant stand the feel of them tryed seamless socks n pants still no, ive bought a tooth brush that is soft and rounded shape not as bad as the others we tryed but still a full on meltdown n sick usein it , tryed many toothpastes aswell, thankyou

I'm not a parent but I did have some of the same issues when I was a little girl. Have you tried turning her socks and tights inside out? Lots of autistic people find the toe seams really uncomfortable so perhaps that would help.

Another thing is, with brushing teeth- is she using minty toothpaste, or a children's different-flavoured one? Mint can seem really strong to some of us and even as an adult I have to use one specific brand of toothpaste because everything else is too minty. You may find that she needs a totally flavourless one if even the non-minty ones don't work for her- they do exist, and they're designed with autistic people in mind. Alternatively maybe different types of toothbrush are worth a try.

Thankyou so much for your response, i do try and give all foods she point blank refuses and would rather go hungry than eat, i just keep tryin day by day. Thanks

The socks may be because she doesn't feel comfortable wearing them. If possible, don't make her wear socks. See if she will be happy wearing something like sandals (when the weather/situation applies to it, of course) so she doesn't need to wear socks. In terms of colder months or conditions where she has to wear shoes, the only thing I can suggest is potentially those sole support things you put in the shoes sometimes. If there's stuff like that which can provide the protection and comfort of a sock without the need to wear one, that may work? Unfortunately, I don't have this sensory issue, I tend to struggle with other things...

Brushing teeth is a hard one. I despise brushing my teeth, but I do it because I know I have to. Unfortunately, when you are young (and if you hate the feel of it), you don't understand the importance of brushing. Maybe research what other people have done to solve their situation. I'm sure there are posts regarding this issue on the forum. Otherwise, look into sensitive toothpaste and toothbrushes with smoother bristles so the feeling is more like a cloud than a rock. Maybe talk with your dentist and see if they can recommend anything.

Waking up throughout the night, maybe introduce a clock or alarm to her. Don't instantly go, "You cannot wake up at all during the night". Every couple of days or every week, decrease the amount of time she can get up and play. Or at a speed that is comfortable for her if she is struggling with the change. But introducing a clock might help. Sorry, this is probably the weakest solution I have in total.

Watching/playing/being very interested in one or two specific things is typical for autistic people, and dinosaurs are quite a common one from my experience. If you are concerned about her not learning to read, maybe search for teaching resources with dinosaur elements to engage her.

Food is a big problem for me. Sensory and taste are one of the most significant factors for me. It took me until I was about 11/12 years old before I tried a simple pork sausage for the first time. Before that, chicken nuggets, smiley faces/chips, tomatoes or cucumber. Nothing else (aside from snacks, of course). Food will take time to improve, but the common factor I see is that she likes dry foods. So maybe try to introduce more dry foods to start with? Dry cereal, dry bread. In the morning, with bread or cereal, instead of using butter, marmalade, or milk the breakfast, have it separated from the foods on the side. She probably thinks that "liquids should not be on food", so maybe having it as a drink will help? But food is perhaps the hardest as it mostly comes in due time. As she ages, I may get interested in trying new things, and only then may she improve. Otherwise, separate foods from each other (if that is a problem she is having) and maybe add a new dry food or two into her dinner and see if she will try it. My mother always added broccoli, spring beans, or a little gravy/sauce for me to try. I never did, but the fact she tried and didn't force me to try it was a slow but big help.

Sorry, I couldn't provide many professional answers. I'm not the oldest person on these forums, and I still struggle with many of these problems. I don't have or know a kid with autism, so I cannot provide any actual knowledge except for what I can guess or answer based on what my parents did for me when I was little.

Hopefully, everything goes well for your daughter, and know that no matter what happens, you are doing a great job, and I'm sure people here will be happy to help.