Upon being told by multiple professionals that I may have some type of autism I began looking into it and if I believe it is true. I used to just think I had severe anxiety and got triggered over things others found odd, for example I moved house and for the first 4-5 months had to was my hands after I touched anything I thought was ‘unsafe’ to touch, which resulted in my hands cracking, but it was the only way I wouldn’t panic.
Now that I and my family strongly believe the test results for autism will come back positive after extensive research for the past 4 months have realised how much it affects me.
I am so tired constantly, I am in a never ending cycle of anxiety, depression, obsession over the smallest things, however I also worry about my behaviour when I feel this way. I get irritable and upset easily and therefore when I communicate come off as harsh and angry even though it isn’t how I feel, just how I express myself, this regularly results in arguments or distance from close people around me, which then causes the cycle of worry. I don’t think the people around me take into account how I feel and see things differently to them even though they are aware of this potential diagnosis. I feel so different, I’m tired, I just want to know how others feel and if anyone knows how to cope.
