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Hypochondria / injury issue

Zoe

Hi all, 

My daughter is 10 and received her autism diagnosis back in September. I’ve got most struggles figured out, but one thing I can’t seem to get my head around is injury/illness. For example, in the last two months she’s had two x-rays for a sprained wrist and sprained ankle… both very very minor injuries from playing in the garden at her dads (to the point I’m sure the nurses thought I was completely wasting their time) but prior to the x-rays she made out like her limbs were falling off. The latest is she ran into a goal post at school, according to the accident slip.

When I say she moans every 2 minutes, I mean it. She reacts the same about a paper cut as I think she would about a genuine injury. The tiniest of scrapes has to be shown to everyone and talked about until there is no hint of a scab left. I have absolutely no idea if she’s actually hurt, as she seems to pick and choose when it hurts. If she had gymnastics or cheerleading practice, she insists on going but sat on the sofa in the evening these ‘injuries’ are apparently unbearable. I don’t know if it’s something she feels intensely due to being autistic or if it’s just an attention thing. I can’t take her to A&E every time she falls over but I can’t tell what’s genuine or not. Has anyone else had experience of this? 

Any help appreciated! Thank you.

  • Here's how I raised my son. I over-indulged him until he rolled his eyes at me and then gave him space. Can I get you anything? Can I help? What do you need. I always inquire about how he slept, how was dinner, how are you today. He doesn't need to fulfil these requests, just feel like some ONE in the world is concerned for his well-being. My intention was that he would never feel a lack and never feel greedy, because I grew up ignored, with very little and had to learn the hard way to let go of a sense of desperation. 

    However, my grandmother always inquired about our health, our constitution, if we were hungry (we didn't see them often). It was slightly irritating and now I miss it. The role of a parent is to support and you can't really know unless they communicate. So, allow her to feel as though you will never dismiss her feelings. Buy extra band aids. Why not. 

    This may seem over the top, but it's actually good practice. No one else in the world will genuinely care. At the end of the day, she wants to feel connected, understood, heard. She wants to be believed. Perhaps you can't go to the ER for every injury. Stock up from the drug store and any time there's a minor incident, break out the kit, the ice pack, put on a movie, make extra popcorn or whatever she likes and just be the mum! Over-bearing and indulgent until she asks you to stop :) 

    You may already know this, but one thing most autistics deal with is we need to execute and finish one-thing-at-a-time. Never forced through the process, never cut short or we will be accident prone. The art of focus, the art of balance - sometimes a yoga class is the best remedy. I've also found a mushroom compound has been an amazing supplement to help aid focus and clarity. I still need to consciously Make the Effort to do one thing at a time to completion or I can complete lose focus. I need to (even now nearing 50) focus on just the stairs until I'm at the top or bottom and then allow my self to think of something else. 

  • in reply to Homebird

    Yes such an intense worry for them isn’t it. She wants a plaster for EVERYTHING. Something I know younger kids often enjoy but she’d put a plaster on a spot of I let her. So difficult to spot genuine ailments!

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you, I appreciate the response and will try that. We recently had a hospital stay due to suspected meningitis, she was very poorly but at the end of her treatment ended up needing to be sedated for a second cannula (which never happened because she woke up and fought against it). It was a largely negative experience which I thought would put her off hospitals but she seems to not be able to move on until a medical professional has confirmed she’s fine. 

    Wondering if it’s a couple of issues, attention and the intense need for reassurance. I do think her pain threshold is incredibly low though so will try what you’ve suggested.

  • This sounds familiar to me. My son gets worried about the slightest injury. Putting on plasters were an issue until he mainly applied them himself. 

    If he gets hurt he tends to think he has broken something so a lot of time is spent reassuring. 

  • A few random thoughts:

    It could be that she is hypersensitive to the pain - a simple test would be to do a blind testing for her. Put on a blindfold and ask her to describe which of the experiences she feels as painful.

    Hold her hand and try gently pushing something blunt (eg the non-sharp end of a pen/pencil gently onto the back of her hand.

    This will give a baseline response that should not be painful. Warn her there are 2 more she may feel uncomfortable but will not hurt her.

    Next try a pin -  a firm but not puncturing push that should get a pain response

    Next try the pen/pencil again to make sure the same response is given - do it on a different part of the hand in case the pin has scratched her.

    Next try a phantom response - ie say "can you feel that" when not actually doing anything - that will eliminate her making things up.

    Lastly repeat the pin again to see if you get the same pain response - maybe skip it if she had a really bad response to it first time.

    I'm more inclined to think it is a case that she may be doing it for the sympathy response - if the blind test shows she is making stuff up then this points the her trying to get attention from her situation.

    Can you let us know how the test goes so we can suggest a more targetted approach please?