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pre-diagnostic assessment

Inula

Hello all

I'm 62 years old and I've just booked to have a pre-diagnostic assessment. My appointment is in mid July. I've not told anyone about this yet (so you're the first to know) 

All of my life I've struggled with making friends and feeling like I actually belong somewhere but it wasn't until my 40 year old daughter was  getting diagnosed that I started to understand that we share many of the same traits (not just the friendships one)  and doing those online tests appears to confirm potential autism. 

For a little while now I've considered myself self diagnosed autistic but I've realised that I will continue to have the internal dialogue of am I aren't I for the rest of my life until I speak with somebody about it - hence the appointment.

I've not been diagnosed with any mental health issues. Probably because I've manufactured a safe space all of my life. So that lack concerns me as I notice that mental health issues are common in the autistic community.

 I've spent the last year analysing my life and situations I find myself in and autism explains my struggles. I'm just afraid that after 62 years of hiding I might be my own worst enemy. I also struggle a great deal with putting my thoughts and feelings into words as I've spent a lifetime just keeping everything under wraps so I'm scared I won't be able to explain what's inside my head to my assessor.

I'm really scared that I will be told that I'm absolutely not autistic. 

I think I might share my appointment date with my daughter but I'm scared of being outed as an imposter when the time comes. 

Im not quite sure why I'm telling you all this. Thank you for being a safe space where I can share my worries. 

Much love

Inula 

Parents

  • I think we all get that level of doubt and imposter syndrome stuff.  I am an advocate of self-identification, but until someone rubber stamps it, that doubt is naturally there.

    Having MH problems isn't inevitable though for autistic people.  We are a bit anxiety wired, but the problems come from not fitting in with the world.  I bet though that there are loads of undiagnosed and probably very unaware autistic people out there and who will never be aware because they have met with understanding family and friends and have carved out a niche in life that suits them.  In fact, had the sensory stuff never manifest in body and medical anxiety for me, I'd have been one of them...sure I had the old play ground bully stuff, can't drive, foodie issues, am a bit of a stress head and very quirky etc, but the upside of autism; the logic, creativity and hyperfocus etc has been serving me very nicely all my life - so no, but for that I never would have come to the attention of MH or ever had reason to consider I could be autistic either.

    .... and errr looking about my family now I think there's a fair few more of us.  Funnily enough, I saw my brother this week who suddenly stated he's thought our mother is autistic for years.  Hmmm... I see it too - the exacting perfectionism, the sameiness, the lack of friends outside the family and lack of want of any, the non-stop talk until we've all lost the will to live about her jigsaws.  But hey!  She's happy in her own little world, so we leave her to it.

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  • I think we all get that level of doubt and imposter syndrome stuff.  I am an advocate of self-identification, but until someone rubber stamps it, that doubt is naturally there.

    Having MH problems isn't inevitable though for autistic people.  We are a bit anxiety wired, but the problems come from not fitting in with the world.  I bet though that there are loads of undiagnosed and probably very unaware autistic people out there and who will never be aware because they have met with understanding family and friends and have carved out a niche in life that suits them.  In fact, had the sensory stuff never manifest in body and medical anxiety for me, I'd have been one of them...sure I had the old play ground bully stuff, can't drive, foodie issues, am a bit of a stress head and very quirky etc, but the upside of autism; the logic, creativity and hyperfocus etc has been serving me very nicely all my life - so no, but for that I never would have come to the attention of MH or ever had reason to consider I could be autistic either.

    .... and errr looking about my family now I think there's a fair few more of us.  Funnily enough, I saw my brother this week who suddenly stated he's thought our mother is autistic for years.  Hmmm... I see it too - the exacting perfectionism, the sameiness, the lack of friends outside the family and lack of want of any, the non-stop talk until we've all lost the will to live about her jigsaws.  But hey!  She's happy in her own little world, so we leave her to it.

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