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pre-diagnostic assessment

Inula

Hello all

I'm 62 years old and I've just booked to have a pre-diagnostic assessment. My appointment is in mid July. I've not told anyone about this yet (so you're the first to know) 

All of my life I've struggled with making friends and feeling like I actually belong somewhere but it wasn't until my 40 year old daughter was  getting diagnosed that I started to understand that we share many of the same traits (not just the friendships one)  and doing those online tests appears to confirm potential autism. 

For a little while now I've considered myself self diagnosed autistic but I've realised that I will continue to have the internal dialogue of am I aren't I for the rest of my life until I speak with somebody about it - hence the appointment.

I've not been diagnosed with any mental health issues. Probably because I've manufactured a safe space all of my life. So that lack concerns me as I notice that mental health issues are common in the autistic community.

 I've spent the last year analysing my life and situations I find myself in and autism explains my struggles. I'm just afraid that after 62 years of hiding I might be my own worst enemy. I also struggle a great deal with putting my thoughts and feelings into words as I've spent a lifetime just keeping everything under wraps so I'm scared I won't be able to explain what's inside my head to my assessor.

I'm really scared that I will be told that I'm absolutely not autistic. 

I think I might share my appointment date with my daughter but I'm scared of being outed as an imposter when the time comes. 

Im not quite sure why I'm telling you all this. Thank you for being a safe space where I can share my worries. 

Much love

Inula 

Parents

  • As others have said, we all feel like you describe.

    I am through the initial assessment, and am waiting for the formal assessment.

    For the initial assessment i reviewed a lot of the youtube videos where people describe their autistic traits ... youll be amazed at how many of the 'quirks' you thought were uniquiely yours, turn out to be common to other autistic people.   I used those as inspiration to go through my life and pick out the experiences and difficulties that align with the other autistic descriptions ... (e.g. a long hunt for the correct bedding)

    I will go into even more detail for the formal assessment, just so i dont forget anything.

  • in reply to Touay

    Hi Touay 

    thanks for your thoughts and good luck with your formal diagnosis. It must be a relief to know you're moving in the right direction. 

    Just recently I've been analysing myself and my actions more and more and  have also check out YouTube and have spent quite a lot of time chatting to my daughter about her traits.  I was rather amazed that things that I considered very normal and mainstream actually aren't.  Most (if not all) of the YouTubers I've found are younger ladies.  I've yet to find one who's close to my age bracket but I do keep trying. Noting things that resonate with me from those videos is a good idea. Thank you for that 

    Inula

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  • in reply to Touay

    Hi Touay 

    thanks for your thoughts and good luck with your formal diagnosis. It must be a relief to know you're moving in the right direction. 

    Just recently I've been analysing myself and my actions more and more and  have also check out YouTube and have spent quite a lot of time chatting to my daughter about her traits.  I was rather amazed that things that I considered very normal and mainstream actually aren't.  Most (if not all) of the YouTubers I've found are younger ladies.  I've yet to find one who's close to my age bracket but I do keep trying. Noting things that resonate with me from those videos is a good idea. Thank you for that 

    Inula

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