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pre-diagnostic assessment

Inula

Hello all

I'm 62 years old and I've just booked to have a pre-diagnostic assessment. My appointment is in mid July. I've not told anyone about this yet (so you're the first to know) 

All of my life I've struggled with making friends and feeling like I actually belong somewhere but it wasn't until my 40 year old daughter was  getting diagnosed that I started to understand that we share many of the same traits (not just the friendships one)  and doing those online tests appears to confirm potential autism. 

For a little while now I've considered myself self diagnosed autistic but I've realised that I will continue to have the internal dialogue of am I aren't I for the rest of my life until I speak with somebody about it - hence the appointment.

I've not been diagnosed with any mental health issues. Probably because I've manufactured a safe space all of my life. So that lack concerns me as I notice that mental health issues are common in the autistic community.

 I've spent the last year analysing my life and situations I find myself in and autism explains my struggles. I'm just afraid that after 62 years of hiding I might be my own worst enemy. I also struggle a great deal with putting my thoughts and feelings into words as I've spent a lifetime just keeping everything under wraps so I'm scared I won't be able to explain what's inside my head to my assessor.

I'm really scared that I will be told that I'm absolutely not autistic. 

I think I might share my appointment date with my daughter but I'm scared of being outed as an imposter when the time comes. 

Im not quite sure why I'm telling you all this. Thank you for being a safe space where I can share my worries. 

Much love

Inula 

Parents

  • Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, Inula. 

    In recent months I've also been connecting dots for myself and suspecting that I have autism and possibly ADHD too. 

    I've uhmed and aahed about it (and gradually started to share my suspicions with my parents, which was quite scary), and I've been offered an appointment in a months' time. I need to let the know by today if I'm going to take it, and I think I'm going to say yes.

    "... I've realised that I will continue to have the internal dialogue of am I aren't I for the rest of my life until I speak with somebody about it - hence the appointment."

    ^This sums it up really nicely for me. 

    I'm feeling apprehensive about being given the diagnosis - and also about not being given the diagnosis(!) - but I think I'll forever be wondering otherwise, and I'll now be glad to know either way.

    PS. Prior to your assessment, I wonder if you could write certain things down that you feel you absolutely want your assessor to know?

    I also struggle to communicate "in the moment", but writing has really helped me - and its actually writing and processing recent and past memories!/moments/relationships that has helped me make sense of things and helped me realise that, hmm, I might have autism.

    Thanks again for sharing, and keep us posted if you'd like to :)

  • in reply to abg

    Thanks for your comments abg - it's so helpful to know that I'm not alone in this part of my journey and to know that others are going through similar things.  I find that constant inner chatter of am I aren't I really distracting and it's a relief to know I'm not alone in that.  I was interested to see that you're considering you might also have ADHD.   I didn't mention it on my post (as it was about how I'm stressing about a pre autism diagnosis) but I'm also wondering if I have ADHD - most likely the inattentive type.  The only thing within ADHD that doesn't resonate with me is being impulsive.  Although impulsiveness doesn't sound like me I think if I were given examples of how that might look in real life I would find it easier to say oh yes - that's me. (or nope - that doesn't sound like me)

    I don't feel particularly apprehensive about getting a positive diagnosis as that would be a relief to know why I am how I am. But my concern is getting a "nope" because then I'd be back to square one. 

    Thank you for sharing your struggle with "in the moment" communications. I thought I was alone in that.  My assessor sent me an email (the consult is via skype) in which she outlined the topics that would be covered so I've started to compile examples in those categories to give me a starting point. I've found that really helpful. 

    My appointment is quite a long way off yet but I will let you know how I get on.  I hope you get answers soon too

    Inula 

Reply
  • in reply to abg

    Thanks for your comments abg - it's so helpful to know that I'm not alone in this part of my journey and to know that others are going through similar things.  I find that constant inner chatter of am I aren't I really distracting and it's a relief to know I'm not alone in that.  I was interested to see that you're considering you might also have ADHD.   I didn't mention it on my post (as it was about how I'm stressing about a pre autism diagnosis) but I'm also wondering if I have ADHD - most likely the inattentive type.  The only thing within ADHD that doesn't resonate with me is being impulsive.  Although impulsiveness doesn't sound like me I think if I were given examples of how that might look in real life I would find it easier to say oh yes - that's me. (or nope - that doesn't sound like me)

    I don't feel particularly apprehensive about getting a positive diagnosis as that would be a relief to know why I am how I am. But my concern is getting a "nope" because then I'd be back to square one. 

    Thank you for sharing your struggle with "in the moment" communications. I thought I was alone in that.  My assessor sent me an email (the consult is via skype) in which she outlined the topics that would be covered so I've started to compile examples in those categories to give me a starting point. I've found that really helpful. 

    My appointment is quite a long way off yet but I will let you know how I get on.  I hope you get answers soon too

    Inula 

Children
  • in reply to Inula

    Hi Inula, yeah - I actually suspected I had ADHD first, before autism came into the equation. I started pursuing an ADHD diagnosis through the NHS a few months ago and the referral form arrived in the post recently.

    My parents had to fill out a form, and across the two of them I scored very low ('not at all' or 'sometimes') on every point except one. In fairness to them, as a child I didn't exhibit any of the typical ADHD criteria. I think I'm more inattentive too. I'm interested to see what comes out of my autism assessment; I've expressed to them I suspect I may also have ADHD, and they've confirmed that they can also test for that - and that sometimes autism and ADHD can mask one another. So we'll see what happens! 

    (On a separate note, from conversations we've started having mum thinks she might also have ADHD; and I've also suspected for a while that my dad/members on his side of the family have autistic traits).