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pre-diagnostic assessment

Inula

Hello all

I'm 62 years old and I've just booked to have a pre-diagnostic assessment. My appointment is in mid July. I've not told anyone about this yet (so you're the first to know) 

All of my life I've struggled with making friends and feeling like I actually belong somewhere but it wasn't until my 40 year old daughter was  getting diagnosed that I started to understand that we share many of the same traits (not just the friendships one)  and doing those online tests appears to confirm potential autism. 

For a little while now I've considered myself self diagnosed autistic but I've realised that I will continue to have the internal dialogue of am I aren't I for the rest of my life until I speak with somebody about it - hence the appointment.

I've not been diagnosed with any mental health issues. Probably because I've manufactured a safe space all of my life. So that lack concerns me as I notice that mental health issues are common in the autistic community.

 I've spent the last year analysing my life and situations I find myself in and autism explains my struggles. I'm just afraid that after 62 years of hiding I might be my own worst enemy. I also struggle a great deal with putting my thoughts and feelings into words as I've spent a lifetime just keeping everything under wraps so I'm scared I won't be able to explain what's inside my head to my assessor.

I'm really scared that I will be told that I'm absolutely not autistic. 

I think I might share my appointment date with my daughter but I'm scared of being outed as an imposter when the time comes. 

Im not quite sure why I'm telling you all this. Thank you for being a safe space where I can share my worries. 

Much love

Inula 

Parents

  • I think most people have the same fears that if they get a no, they're back to having no explanation for the way their brain works. All you can do is be honest and trust the assessment to know.

    And as a person with massive mental health struggles, be happy you've dodged that bullet! It's true that it's relatively common with autistic people (since we're not usually adapted well to life in a neurotypical world), there are a hell of a lot of autistic people who get by without those struggles and that's great.

  • in reply to T

    Hi TriS

    I'm sorry that you struggle with mental health issues. I don't know how that feels but I do have family members who struggle and I understand it's not a good place to be.  

    You're right - if I get a "no" than where does that leave me (and anyone else who gets a no)  If not autism then what?  I guess I will have to face that bridge when I come to it.   I spent some quiet time with my daughter yesterday and I was going to tell her about my appointment but the time wasn't right.  I think maybe I will tell her at some point though.  Just not sure when.   Last night I dreamed I told her so it's obviously on my mind!

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  • in reply to T

    Hi TriS

    I'm sorry that you struggle with mental health issues. I don't know how that feels but I do have family members who struggle and I understand it's not a good place to be.  

    You're right - if I get a "no" than where does that leave me (and anyone else who gets a no)  If not autism then what?  I guess I will have to face that bridge when I come to it.   I spent some quiet time with my daughter yesterday and I was going to tell her about my appointment but the time wasn't right.  I think maybe I will tell her at some point though.  Just not sure when.   Last night I dreamed I told her so it's obviously on my mind!

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