Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm not really sure what to write if I'm honest...
So I had an assessment via Right to Choose on Tuesday and the psychiatrist gave me a diagnosis of 'ASD'. It explains so much of why I've always felt like an outcast (sometimes even amongst the other 'outcasts') but my overwhelming feeling is of anger - why it wasn't picked up when I was younger and why I had to struggle so much through High School and the horrendous bullying I've gone through in work places. I'm already in therapy for neurodivergent people or those suspected to be neurodivergent which has helped somewhat but I still can't shake the anger side of things.
Has anyone else experienced this?
I got officially diagnosed a week ago and I can relate to this. My main feeling about it is relief, but anger is definitely there too. Specifically, I'm angry at all the people who were in positions of responsibility/had a duty of care towards me and let me suffer- teachers who watched me get bullied and did nothing, and doctors who dismissed me as a hypochondriac or attention-seeker when I asked for assessment. If I'd known I was autistic earlier, I still would have had many of the same struggles in life, but there would have been an explanation and literal decades more time to find coping mechanisms that would actually work.
You've hit the nail on the head... I'm so angry knowing what I know now and having the teachers just ignore the bullying despite me reporting it, workplaces engaging in 'banter' despite knowing it upset me and telling me to lighten up. Like you I think I'd have been able to find helpful coping mechanisms and not just be shoved on medication (though nothing wrong with that if it works for the individual)