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Recently Diagnosed

Emz

Hi. I am a recently diagnosed 37 year old female. I’m a bit confused as to how I am expected to feel. My son is also autistic and everyone has been on board with helping him and supporting him however they can. But since people found out I was being assessed and since diagnosed, they seem to think I should feel different. Like a diagnosis will make me feel better about myself. Which wasn’t the purpose. I have spent years trying to figure out why I am different and now I know why. But I am getting a lot of ‘So do you feel better now?’. Was my diagnosis supposed to give me some sort of closure or elated feeling?

Just feeling a bit lost as to how my diagnosis was supposed to make me feel. I mean, I struggle with feelings and emotions anyway, but people are acting like it’s some life changing affirmation, when I have actually been living an autistic life for 37 years. They just didn’t know/accept it until my diagnosis.

  • Hie and welcome

    you might enjoy watching youtube channel made by a girl that was like you diagnosed in her thirties. 

    www.youtube.com/@YoSamdySam

  • Never mind expectations. Your feelings are your own and they take primacy. It may take some time to figure out what they are but you should try.

  • Hi Emz. I'm newly diagnosed too and I have been dealing with similar feelings. Frustration because it's taken 30 years to get a diagnosis, worry because I don't know what the next steps are and I very much feel like I have stigmatised myself just by being diagnosed, if I am being honest.

    I reached out to a friend who has been supporting me during through the assessments and I finally got my diagnosis and shared it with him. He asked how I felt and I said that I was unsure. He responded in a way that shocked me; he said "well, don't worry... isn't everyone a little bit autistic anyway?!". I understand that he was trying to keep things light in the moment but it also makes me feel like a formal diagnosis means very little to the people around me.

    I am hoping that being around people like the people on this site and talking honestly about these feelings will help!

  • im 52 only now been diagonised , i was allways told by doctors, its stress axitey, depression , plus im transgender , been masking for years but i didnt know ,  but it ticks allot of boxes , 

  • in reply to IronTusk
    IronTusk said:
    The vast majority of support for autism is limited to childrens services, mostly because it’s so important to improving outcomes

    Do you mean educational/vocational outcomes? God, I must be naive - I thought that autistic children received the majority of resources simply because it's the caring thing to do, and also because they're too young to help themselves very much. 

  • I was diagnosed late at age 20. Diagnosis hasn’t really changed much for me mostly because as an adult, assistance with the issues we face is minimal and a bit of a post code lottery. It felt good to know I was right with my suspicions, but that’s it. Getting diagnosed made me feel just as sad as it did happy. The vast majority of support for autism is limited to childrens services, mostly because it’s so important to improving outcomes, but people like me who never got that support are sort of just expected to sink or swim. 

  • Hey there Emz - I can relate to the feelings. I had my assessment mid December and received my diagnosis earlier this week (I’m 46, female). I felt relieved at receiving the report but am at a loss as to how I feel now. My diagnosis is joint Autism and ADHD, and has raised more questions than it’s given answers. Likewise, my diagnosis has been received with mixed reactions by those who ‘need to know’. I’m trying to accept that this is ‘just the way it is’ rather than read too much into it (which is difficult, but I’m trying). Stay strong and take each day as it comes x 

  • Just know you are not alone feeling like this. I was diagnosed 3 days ago and I'm just lost, I don't know what to do or feel, whether I should tell people or not. The people I have told have just carried on as normal like I didn't mention it :/

  • Hi,. I was 38* 

    my mother said I’m a insult to autistic people :-/

    now you’re diagnosed you can get support with things from specialists charities, come on forums and talk to other amazing people :-)