Can "resistance to change" present like this?

Personally, my resistance to change isn't really always surrounding plans, however, when I do plan, I usually have it in my head that "this is what's going to happen" and when it doesn't I try very hard to not show my discomfort. It actually does make me pretty upset. Not meltdown upset, but extremely annoyed and I want to not speak to anybody for a bit until I can either finish the plan, solve the problem, or just wait until my emotions pass when I feel better. I know I have poor planning skills, so I may make a plan and have a hard time with following through with it, or I get overwhelmed by my own plans even if it's small and I end up not doing anything at all. It's a horrible cycle. Yet, when someone changes their plans and their mind about things I get upset.

I think one of the biggest ways my resistance to change manifests is through being told to do something differently when I feel my way is the way I'm used to. An example being, someone telling me to get new shoes and taking me shoe shopping even though I don't see the point and I dislike the feeling of new shoes for a while. I am only comfortable with change when I am initiating it myself and not forced into it by someone else. As a kid, I remember hating shoe shopping and shopping in general because it felt like a waste of time when I was happy with what I already had. I'd get very upset and be stubborn about it. In summer, I wore a coat because I hated the change in wardrobe once the seasons changed. It's like I have an idea, want to stick with that idea, and when someone else says "No, do it this way. It's better." I get upset because it's new and I don't like that "new". I'd prefer to do it how I've always done it instead of trying new ways. Not necessarily because it's "easier" or "better".

Parents
  • I can relate to this. I struggle a lot with change and I tend to do things the same way (even when that way is not good) and it takes a lot of effort to change things. Shoe shopping was a nightmare when I was a child- I really struggled and I think the shops were not overly happy with us either- Mum and I often spend hours with me trying on every shoe, all of them were pressing/irritating my feet somehow and would then leave without buying any... now I just always buy the same model of trainers online (or the following model if they no longer stock it). I also understand about struggling with changing clothes when seasons change- for me it is more related to trousers- I love the feeling of shorts/sports shorts in summer and cannot cope with long trousers in winter- the solution now is to just wear loose jogging pants/ leggings all the time (even at work). Food is the hardest one  for me. I really struggle with change there too... but I need to embrace it and not always do everything the same way as that has negative impacts on my health... 

Reply
  • I can relate to this. I struggle a lot with change and I tend to do things the same way (even when that way is not good) and it takes a lot of effort to change things. Shoe shopping was a nightmare when I was a child- I really struggled and I think the shops were not overly happy with us either- Mum and I often spend hours with me trying on every shoe, all of them were pressing/irritating my feet somehow and would then leave without buying any... now I just always buy the same model of trainers online (or the following model if they no longer stock it). I also understand about struggling with changing clothes when seasons change- for me it is more related to trousers- I love the feeling of shorts/sports shorts in summer and cannot cope with long trousers in winter- the solution now is to just wear loose jogging pants/ leggings all the time (even at work). Food is the hardest one  for me. I really struggle with change there too... but I need to embrace it and not always do everything the same way as that has negative impacts on my health... 

Children
No Data