Struggle to connect with other women

Hey, Ive recently been diagnosed late in my 25th year of age.  I seeked a therapist about depression, anxiety and processing the drama that happened at my last work place before I returned to a new work place in the same industry.  I've taken heaps of time off to do this internal work because returning to a new place is a waste of effort without addressing changes in yourself too.  Even though the therapist and I did agree a lot of the drama was at the fault of my ex boss and her toy boy manager, we also agreed I could've done little things differently that could make my life easier if I found myself in a similar situation again. 

Another reason why the drama there affected me so much was because it wasn't the first time it's happened to me in the industry.  At the first studio I worked at I was forced into a another dramatic ending and both these dramas seemed to come out of nowhere.  I've actually never been bullied as badly as I have been in these studios. 

At the first studio there was a tattoo artist who hated me so much for idk what reason that she even willingly ruined her relationship and reputation with her clients and all the other artists there in the pursuit of tearing me down.  The boss at my last studio wanted me fired or to quit so badly (but didn't have much ground for firing me) so she also started acting psycho.  She felt like I didn't respect her (I really tried but it's hard to respect a tattoo artist that doesn't know which layer of the skin the needle goes to, when that was one of the first things I was told when I started apprenticing), so you know what she does?  She starts yelling and being nasty thinking that'll get her respect and when it doesn't work, she doesn't have the introspection to realize that being nasty and mean actually has the opposite effect on someone who's not so insecure.  Now not only am I struggling to respect her as a boss, but now I'm struggling to respect her as a person in general.  She even went to the extent of pointing out my weight loss and linked it to me looking like a meth head in front of clients and another co worker, but you can't look like a meth head if you have perfect teeth so I have no idea what her problem was.  I also didn't understand why she had such a problem with it since she was always vocal about her underweight issues.  Unfortunately karma got her and she ended up miscarrying the twins she was pregnant with due to her being severely unhealthy and underweight herself.  Anyways, you know what these two psychos had in common?  They were both women.  

I managed masking quite well due to one of my special interests in psychology and the human condition.  I achieve passing by analyzing people like a psychologist to then mentally construct the best way to respond according to my researched knowledge of human behavior (which I now know is neurotypical human behavior).   As a result I usually don't have a hard time making friends.  In fact if anything I find it way too easy to make new friends and they usually start calling me their best friend quite quickly even though I never felt that level of connection before.  My only issue is maintaining them for more than a year without just fizzling out because it's a lot of commitment to a specific mask for someone meant to feel like they're getting close with you.  However just because these relationships fizzle out doesn't mean I'm on bad terms with these people and if I bumped into them again it wouldn't be a bad experience. 

Because these patterns didn't match up, when these women went psycho I knew there was something I was missing because it's also happened in 2/3 studios I've been at (the second studio I was at was all males, but it ended due to financial and business issues, nothing personal).  Well thank goodness I got the therapist I have because she's been the first one to see my autistic traits and address it when I've asked her thinking I might be autistic.

From what I've learnt in my experience, it's ok to not be normal.  It's also ok to be weird and quirky, but you're only going to find acceptance from people who are also secure with their genuine selves.  If neurotypicals are severely miserable and insecure with themselves, most of them aren't capable of proper introspection and resort back to their unevolved animalist instinct of tribalism.  Because they're used to being accepted easily, their attitude to self reflection is severely underdeveloped.  In other words they have the sense of self responsibility of a child.  After all it's much easier on the ego to blame everyone but yourself, hense if something isn't working they just give up and choose to delude themselves, even if they have a pattern of these issues happening to them with neurotypical people as well.  I theorize this is because while neurotypical people have a strong sense of social identity, deep down a lot of them lack a personal identity.  They have an overdeveloped emotional part of the brain, but their logic and rationality REALLY lacks.  These are what I've coined as low functioning neurotypicals.  Since this seems to be the opposite in autistic people, I really think that as long as autism is considered as a disability then so should low functioning neurotypicals.  The only reason the term hasn't already been coined in psychology is because the majority of the human population is neurotypical and therefor have culturally indoctrinated us to accept all neurotypicals as "normal", even the low functioning ones.  This is also why I refuse to look at autism, or at least high functioning autism as a disability.

If you're going to make it possible to connect with high functioning neurotypicals, I highly recommend watching youtubers who have a strong connection with their fans, reality tv shows and comedy while also watching videos on psychology.  I would also highly recommend researching narcissism, sociopaths and psychopaths so if you do get bullied you'll know how to spot it, handle it or leave.  I'm still unsure how to spot the difference between a narc and just a low-functioning neurotypical (just like they sometimes confuse autism with narcissism), but for you it doesn't really matter because they can both be toxic or have ill intent. 

I'm still figuring out how to maintain friendships, but doing this will at least help you in making friends.

Hey, Ive recently been diagnosed late in my 25th year of age.  I seeked a therapist about depression, anxiety and processing the drama that happened at my last work place before I returned to a new work place in the same industry.  I've taken heaps of time off to do this internal work because returning to a new place is a waste of effort without addressing changes in yourself too.  Even though the therapist and I did agree a lot of the drama was at the fault of my ex boss and her toy boy manager, we also agreed I could've done little things differently that could make my life easier if I found myself in a similar situation again. 

Another reason why the drama there affected me so much was because it wasn't the first time it's happened to me in the industry.  At the first studio I worked at I was forced into a another dramatic ending and both these dramas seemed to come out of nowhere.  I've actually never been bullied as badly as I have been in these studios. 

At the first studio there was a tattoo artist who hated me so much for idk what reason that she even willingly ruined her relationship and reputation with her clients and all the other artists there in the pursuit of tearing me down.  The boss at my last studio wanted me fired or to quit so badly (but didn't have much ground for firing me) so she also started acting psycho.  She felt like I didn't respect her (I really tried but it's hard to respect a tattoo artist that doesn't know which layer of the skin the needle goes to, when that was one of the first things I was told when I started apprenticing), so you know what she does?  She starts yelling and being nasty thinking that'll get her respect and when it doesn't work, she doesn't have the introspection to realize that being nasty and mean actually has the opposite effect on someone who's not so insecure.  Now not only am I struggling to respect her as a boss, but now I'm struggling to respect her as a person in general.  She even went to the extent of pointing out my weight loss and linked it to me looking like a meth head in front of clients and another co worker, but you can't look like a meth head if you have perfect teeth so I have no idea what her problem was.  I also didn't understand why she had such a problem with it since she was always vocal about her underweight issues.  Unfortunately karma got her and she ended up miscarrying the twins she was pregnant with due to her being severely unhealthy and underweight herself.  Anyways, you know what these two psychos had in common?  They were both women.  

I managed masking quite well due to one of my special interests in psychology and the human condition.  I achieve passing by analyzing people like a psychologist to then mentally construct the best way to respond according to my researched knowledge of human behavior (which I now know is neurotypical human behavior).   As a result I usually don't have a hard time making friends.  In fact if anything I find it way too easy to make new friends and they usually start calling me their best friend quite quickly even though I never felt that level of connection before.  My only issue is maintaining them for more than a year without just fizzling out because it's a lot of commitment to a specific mask for someone meant to feel like they're getting close with you.  However just because these relationships fizzle out doesn't mean I'm on bad terms with these people and if I bumped into them again it wouldn't be a bad experience. 

Because these patterns didn't match up, when these women went psycho I knew there was something I was missing because it's also happened in 2/3 studios I've been at (the second studio I was at was all males, but it ended due to financial and business issues, nothing personal).  Well thank goodness I got the therapist I have because she's been the first one to see my autistic traits and address it when I've asked her thinking I might be autistic.

From what I've learnt in my experience, it's ok to not be normal.  It's also ok to be weird and quirky, but you're only going to find acceptance from people who are also secure with their genuine selves.  If neurotypicals are severely miserable and insecure with themselves, most of them aren't capable of proper introspection and resort back to their unevolved animalist instinct of tribalism.  Because they're used to being accepted easily, their attitude to self reflection is severely underdeveloped.  In other words they have the sense of self responsibility of a child.  After all it's much easier on the ego to blame everyone but yourself, hense if something isn't working they just give up and choose to delude themselves, even if they have a pattern of these issues happening to them with neurotypical people as well.  I theorize this is because while neurotypical people have a strong sense of social identity, deep down a lot of them lack a personal identity.  They have an overdeveloped emotional part of the brain, but their logic and rationality REALLY lacks.  These are what I've coined as low functioning neurotypicals.  Since this seems to be the opposite in autistic people, I really think that as long as autism is considered as a disability then so should low functioning neurotypicals.  The only reason the term hasn't already been coined in psychology is because the majority of the human population is neurotypical and therefor have culturally indoctrinated us to accept all neurotypicals as "normal", even the low functioning ones.  This is also why I refuse to look at autism, or at least high functioning autism as a disability.

If you're going to make it possible to connect with high functioning neurotypicals, I highly recommend watching youtubers who have a strong connection with their fans, reality tv shows and comedy while also watching videos on psychology.  I would also highly recommend researching narcissism, sociopaths and psychopaths so if you do get bullied you'll know how to spot it, handle it or leave.  I'm still unsure how to spot the difference between a narc and just a low-functioning neurotypical (just like they sometimes confuse autism with narcissism), but for you it doesn't really matter because they can both be toxic or have ill intent. 

I'm still figuring out how to maintain friendships, but doing this will at least help you in making friends.