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Side effects of Unmasking?

NAS80873

I have recently discovered that I am most likely autistic and I am now on a journey of discovery and unmasking, which is quite exhausting and emotional. Like so many other girls and women, I also suffer from complex PTSD, caused by extreme childhood trauma of neglect, abuse and bullying. 

The reason why I am writing this post is to find out if there might be a possibility that I am also experiencing more flashbacks as a "side effect" of my efforts to unmask and to find my real self. There are also things I haven't remembered before ... 

Are there any other women in this community who are experiencing or have experienced similar? 

I probably should also mention that I am seeing somebody now for over 6 months, which is a real achievement for me, and things are going generally alright. I am pointing this out, because I am also aware that I am having intimacy issues and haven't been in a relationship for nearly 10 years before I met him. I actually was never in a long-time relationship and really hope that things will work out with him. I do not want to bring details of my abuse trauma up with him as yet, since I have enough other things going, and I do not want to overwhelm him. 

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    I suffer from PTSD and I've been through similar to you. Minus the relationship :) 

    I thought my mum was autistic as well. A lot of the traits were there, but she never got diagnosed. I often wonder if she ever thought she might be.

    I find that whenever I lower the mask, memories will always come flooding back and they're usually graphic. I think it's a side effect of unmasking, like somehow consciously your brain knows your unmasking and more vulnerable so it throws painful moments your way. That's how I think of it.

    Take it nice and gradual and don't let it deter you. Journeys of self discovery can be long and at times, upsetting. But I know you can do it. Just take it slowly so you don't overwhelm yourself.

    And congrats on your relationship. That's a huge step and achievement! :)