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Every day pressures

Prof

I'm feeling a lot of pressure every day just from life.

My parents expect so much. They want me to work, to find a bf, to try harder to be less autistic. They seem to think I can overcome it with positive thinking and then I'll be normal, apparently. I have tried explaining to them it doesn't work that way but they won't have it. They think I should be like the other girls.

It's like jewellery and makeup both I can't tolerate but my mum thinks I should be using both. I try to explain but she says I'm just being silly. I wish we could swap places for ten minutes and then she will understand.

So many life pressures, so much pressure to make my family happy. 

Parents

  • Hi Mayflower,

    I’m sorry that you’re feeling so much pressure at the moment. 
    You have every right to be true to who you are - and to wear whatever you want. Your mother is wrong to put pressure on you in this way. Frankly it’s ridiculous to tell anyone else whether or not they should be wearing make up or jewellery - these are trivial matters and down to personal choice. My advice it’s to politely stand your ground and calmly explain to your mother that you don’t want to do these things. She can if she wants to, but that’s nothing to do with you, it’s your choice what you do! 
    It’s not your responsibility to ‘make your family happy’. As long as you are treating your family with kindness and respect, and helping out a bit with chores etc then frankly that’s all you really owe them. They have no right to expect you to bury your authentic self and be someone you’re not. Set firm boundaries with your family about what is up for debate and what isn’t.  Do they have a good understanding of autism?

Reply

  • Hi Mayflower,

    I’m sorry that you’re feeling so much pressure at the moment. 
    You have every right to be true to who you are - and to wear whatever you want. Your mother is wrong to put pressure on you in this way. Frankly it’s ridiculous to tell anyone else whether or not they should be wearing make up or jewellery - these are trivial matters and down to personal choice. My advice it’s to politely stand your ground and calmly explain to your mother that you don’t want to do these things. She can if she wants to, but that’s nothing to do with you, it’s your choice what you do! 
    It’s not your responsibility to ‘make your family happy’. As long as you are treating your family with kindness and respect, and helping out a bit with chores etc then frankly that’s all you really owe them. They have no right to expect you to bury your authentic self and be someone you’re not. Set firm boundaries with your family about what is up for debate and what isn’t.  Do they have a good understanding of autism?

Children
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